"Don't ask how I came to be driving it," says Jalopnik's favorite rule flouter (rule flautist?) Chris Harris — who wrote the burnt-bridge treatise "How Ferrari Spins" for us and has been on the banned Ferrari list ever since.

Thankfully, someone decided to lend their Ferrari 458 Spider press car to Harris for a track spin, the punishment for which, we've heard, is death. Well, at least in Italy.

You may notice that, while we go on press trips with Lamborghini and McLaren there aren't many Ferrari trips for us. In fact, there are none.

While we do have communication with the company we don't, sadly, get a lot of time with their product unless you can use it to cut your hair. This goes back to a piece Chris Harris infamously wrote for us. The most dangerous piece of automotive journalism in a generation that ended up here because no one else would print it.

A taste:

Remember the awesome 430 Scuderia? What a car that was, and still is. One English magazine went along with all the cheating-bullshit because the cars did seem to be representative of what a customer might get to drive, but then during the dyno session, the "standard" tires stuck themselves to the rollers.

And this is the nub: how fucking paranoid do you have to be to put even stickier rubber on a Scuderia? It's like John Holmes having an extra two inches grafted onto his dick. I mean it's not as if, according to your own communication, you're not a clear market leader and maker of the best sports cars in the world now, is it?

Not surprisingly, it didn't go over well in Maranello. Harris was banned from even touching cars and, informally at least, so were we. Was it worth it? Absolutely, we couldn't buy a Ferrari like Harris did, but we also weren't looking the other way just so we could drive product.

You're either getting honest reviews from us or no reviews. Speaking of which, here's Harris doing what few have done with a 458 Spider: beat the shit out of it.

"I'm a year late to this review, so most people already know what they need to know. But do they know what the Spider is like if you drive it like a mentalist? They will now."

Bravo to whomever secretly left the keys in the car so we could all enjoy this little bit of hoonage.