Hey Rolls Royce: Get The Hell Off The NürburgringS

Rolls-Royce is coming out with their most powerful car yet, the Wraith, and they've been testing it on the ‘Ring. No. Rolls-Royce, you're doing it wrong, and this grumpy cat and I will explain why.

A Rolls-Royce should have nothing to do with lap times or hard, handling-tuned suspensions. A Rolls-Royce should be the Ultimate Being Driven Machine. It is about wafting, and ease, and relaxation.

If there is any motorsport Rolls-Royce has ever been good it, it's long-distance driving over rough roads. That's more about comfort and dependability than anything else.

The Nürburgring teaches you bad habits, Rolls-Royce. Testing on the famed Nordschleife emphasizes unforgiving suspension, meant to keep a car pinned to the road in high-speed bumps, crests, and camber changes. A Rolls-Royce should be absolutely willowy up on the ‘Ring. It should have a cane that deploys from your dashboard and beats you over the head the moment you enter Pflanzgarten at anything over seven miles an hour. It should have the voice of Winston Churchill scolding you if you even come close to entering the Carousel. The car should actively discourage you from "forceful driving."

Here we see a number of shots of the Wraith in its testing regimen. As we see the car hustle through the bends and squeal its tires, only one word comes to mind. As grumpy cat would say: no.

Hey Rolls Royce: Get The Hell Off The NürburgringS

No.

Hey Rolls Royce: Get The Hell Off The NürburgringS

No.

Hey Rolls Royce: Get The Hell Off The NürburgringS

No.

Hey Rolls Royce: Get The Hell Off The NürburgringS

No.

The new Wraith looks good under its camo. We like the idea of a twelve-cylinder fastback built off the BMW 7-series platform wrapped in as much wood and leather and carpet as physically possible. But Rolls-Royce, leave the Nürburgring out of the development process.

Photo Credit: fastsportscardriver, Reddit, Cataliades