As if it wasn't already clear, the three men atop American-flavored Top Gear are in love with cars to an unhealthy degree. Tanner Foust once offered to race our press Lincoln MKT and Rutledge Wood, of course, sold me his damn car. They are like us, the only question is to what degree?

We're no tgoing to come right out and say they're having sex with these cars because there's a fine line between mechaphilia/dragoning and merely a sort of asexual romantic attachment. Actually, Tanner looks like he's about to hit that Ford GT and Rutledge is marrying that rod.

Adam, it appears, is merely a friend. Whether or not benefits are included in said friendship is up to you decide.

You can see the new episodes starting January 29th on HISTORY. If you want to see what happens between a man and his retro super car when the camera crew goes away you'll have to steal Ray Wert's dragon journal.