For $3,500, MERC,RIMS,MUSIC,TVS

To be a Marquis is to be a member of the noble class of frogs. That being said, while you may not have to be a Marquis to drive today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Marquis, you will need to determine if its price reflects nobility, or perhaps no-bullshitry.

The Marquis de Sade was into the rough stuff, which means he probably wouldn't have liked yesterday's smooth move of a custom Straman 300ZX convertible. That of course doesn't mean that non dead French freaks wouldn't jones for it, and in fact it came away with a laudable 72% Nice Price win for its sub four-grand asking.

As noted, Marquis is a title of nobility, and while the most famous individual to carry that designation gained his fame for perversity and torture, there's nothing about today's 1973 Mercury Marquis that's intended to appeal to freaky masochists, despite being roomy enough for a whole slew of gimp-in-a-boxes. Instead this 22" Gator-sporting boat speaks of more urban pleasures - that of crackin' a Colt and cruising the hood.

For $3,500, MERC,RIMS,MUSIC,TVS

Of course having grown up in a suburbia steeped in Wonder Bread and GAP clothes, I know nothing about any of that. But I do know this monster Mercury has it going on. The big Merc shared its platform - as well as much of its styling tropes - with the lessor Ford LTD. Upgrades befitting the winged sandal brand included a cleaner nose than its LTD cousin, as well as fancier trim on the full-width tail lamps. This one, in stupendous ‘70s ruddy brown, also rocks a vinyl roof, which while not standard fitment to all Marquis models is pretty much de rigueur for achieving the full Cleveland effect.

It's not Cleveland, but Lake Placid Florida that this modded Merc currently calls home. Crusing there, you could enjoy its rims, music and TV, at least according to the highlighted features in the ad. You might also like its massive 7-litre V8. The 385s (named for the 3.85" stroke of the 460 edition) pumped out 198-bhp and a more impressive 380 lb-ft of torque. The price for all that was its less than stellar 12-mpg city mileage. Behind that huge mill is Ford's always welcome at the party C6 3-speed, which does its thing via a column-mounted shifter.

For $3,500, MERC,RIMS,MUSIC,TVS

That shifter in turn sits in front of a pair of featureless thrones that are strangely at odds with the baroque nature of the remaining interior elements - and the car as a whole. Part of that cool ornate nature is the volume of brightwork here, which is considerable but which is further overshadowed by the massive chrome rims filling the substantial wheels wells. There's also a pair of cool Brougham badges on the C-pillars that involve crown-wearing lions facing off with hockey sticks. It's like an amazing dream come to life.

For $3,500, MERC,RIMS,MUSIC,TVS

Out back you might expect a trunk lid large enough to serve as a regional airport would also have a commensurately large luggage capacity beneath. In this case, you would be wrong. Instead, taking up space there is the sort of massive bass box that would bring a creepy smile to Skrillex's face, and could make Justin Beiber sound like Barry White - which ain't a bad thing, baby.

Something else that may not be a bad thing may be this classic Merc's $3,500 price. Of course that's what we're here to find out. What do you think, does that price make this a Mercury rising? Or, does it make you Marqueasy?

You decide!

Sarasota Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to JQJ213 for the mad hookup, yo!

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