Retro TV shows and movie remakes are all the rage right now. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Chevy Van is a perfect set piece for re-imagining a beloved Saturday morning cartoon icon, that is if its price doesn't have you sayin' Ruh-Roh.
Man, yesterday's Tercelibration was as short-lived as a Donald Trump nano-moment of non self-aggrandizement. In fact, with an overwhelming 76% Crack Pipe loss, it suffered a stunning and unforeseeable rebuke. Can you tell I watched too much election coverage the other night?
Let's say there's these four young people - who just so happen to travel around in a van with an enormous and apparently sentient Great Dane - and for shits and giggles, they solve crimes. Now, while these scalawags are getting all up in other people's business, no one ever questions why aren't they in school, or what exactly goes on inside that van.
Yes of course I'm talking about Scooby Doo Where are You - and its seemingly endless permutations - and today's Hightop-wearing 1995 Chevy Van got me thinking; what if we had modern live-action version of Scooby Doo with a totally African American cast?
I know, right?
Instead of nefarious doubloon stealers being flummoxed by those meddling kids, it could be evil KKK'ers getting their just-deserved comeuppance at the hands of those interfering Brothers and Sisters. I've totally nailed the cast too; Gaius Charles as Fred, Marlon Wayans as Shaggy, Beyoncé (grrrrr-owl!) as the smokin' Daphne, and Jennifer Hudson as the intellectually hot Velma. Scooby would reprise his role, but perhaps be voiced by Samuel L. Jackson. YMMV.
And of course the Mystery Incorporated foursome will need a Mystery Machine in which to drive around in - accidentally stumbling upon crimes - and what would be better than this 30"-shoe'd Chevy van? Sure it's not painted in psychedelic colors, nor does it sport the mystery solver's corporate brand, but I'm thinking that unlike their apologetically un-hip Wonder Bread forebears, our new Scooby Doo crew would like roll in something a little bit more on the DL.
For in between crime solving, this van sports 10 TVs, 22 speakers, LED and wood accents, and a high-top roof so there's room to party. The outside presentation features a fresh coat of white paint, running boards, and the aforementioned 30-inch Rockstars. In the minus column, the V8-powered van's rear bumper looks like it's suffering two dents of mysterious origin. On the whole however, should the crime solving business not pan out, this van would make living down by the river a sweet deal for the foursome and dawg.
Of course it's no mystery that this machine is not free, and it's now time to unmask its price. The seller is asking $12,500 and that seems a paltry investment considering all the rewards that will result in thwarting criminals and their villainous activities. But is it really? That's a mystery that's now up to you to solve. Do you think that you wouldn't have to be a sleuth to deduce that's a good deal? Or, does that price make this a Scooby Don't?
H/T to MAXIMX6 for the hookup!
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