Apparently, there's some sort of election happening in the US tonight— I want to say a bond referendum thing? Maybe something more? News to me.
But, seeing as how it looks like a big deal, and based on the fact that none of the major news outlets are covering it with any emphasis on cars, I figured we better cover it here at Jalopnik.
We've employed the Jalopnik Mainframe, deep in its bunker in William Shatner's sex dungeon, to compute the optimal car for every state, and we'll dynamically repaint the car red or blue based on the state's election results. Red for Romney/Republican, Blue for Obama/Democrat, and then we'll photograph the painted car and get its image on the map.
So, check in throughout the night, and see what states are choosing what color! We'll also include a tally of electoral college votes as well, since, you know, states have different ones, based on their water table depths or something.
So, stay tuned to Jalopnik for the only car-based election map on the internet!
Oh, and if you have a problem with your state's car, feel free to bitch about it in Kinja and suggest better ones or just call me terrible names. We're also using this as an open thread for the election so sound off.
Oh, and by the way: Obama's won it. Post offices, no need to change those portraits!
Fishing Boat/Maine: Obama, 4 electoral lobsters.
Subaru Forrester/Vermont: Obama, 3 electoral smelly hippies.
BMW 7 Series/Connecticut: Obama, 7 electoral rich talk show hosts.
Chevy Volt/Massachusetts: Obama, 11 electoral baked beans.
Peel P50, Rhode Island: Obama, 4 of the smallest electoral votes.
Toyota Camry, Delaware: Obama, 3 electoral corporate headquarters.
PT Cruiser/Michigan: Obama, 16 electoral automotive workers
Blues Bros. Cruiser/Illinois: Obama, 20 electoral Democratic political machines
Rusty F100/Pennsylvania: Obama, 20 electoral steel mills
Clampetmobile/West Virginia: Romney, 5 electoral moonshine stills.
Horse/Kentucky: Romney, 8 electoral whiskies
Busted Camaro/South Carolina: Romney, 9 electoral palmettos
General Lee/Georgia: Romney, 16 electoral peanuts
Sonata/Alabama: Romney, 9 electoral magnolias
Riverboat/Mississippi: Romney, 6 electoral cotton bolls
Streetcar/Louisiana: Romney, 8 electoral Ignatius J. Reillys
F350/Arkansas: Romney, 6 electoral razorbacks
Ford Escape/Minnesota: Obama, 10 electoral NPR-loving Lutherans
Camaro/Tennessee: Romney, 11 electoral steel guitars
Wheeled Bruce Springstein/New Jersey: Obama, 14 electoral guidos
Cadillac Eldorado/Texas: Romney, 38 electoral longhorns
Chevy Suburban/Oklahoma: Romney, 7 electoral oil wells
Combine/Kansas: Romney, 6 electoral evolution-deniers
GMC Yukon/Nebraska: Romney, 5 electoral hoosiers
Buick Regal/South Dakota: Romney, 3 electoral Crazy Horses
Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera/North Dakota: Romney, 3 electoral missile silos
Baja Bug/New Mexico: Obama, 5 electoral Lesbian-owned junkyards
GMC 4x4/Wyoming: Romney, 3 electoral bison
15-passenger Van/Utah: Romney, 6 electoral Mormons
Ford Bronco/Montana: Romney, 3 electoral glaciers
Subaru BRAT/Wisconsin: Obama, 10 electoral cheese wheels
Hummer Limo/Nevada: Obama, 6 electoral blackjack dealers/legal hookers
Jeep Cherokee/New Hampshire: Obama, 4 electoral interstate liquor stores
Border Patrol Jeep/Arizona: Romney, 11 electoral canned ice teas
Chevy Lumina Z34/North Carolina: Romney, 15 electoral Cheerwine Chuggers
Subaru Outback/Colorado: Obama, 9 electoral skiers
Model A Stakebed Truck/Idaho: Romney, 4 electoral potatoes
Jeep Wrangler/Hawaii: Obama, 4 electoral dashboard hula girls
VW Microbus/California: Obama, 55 electoral deep, rich tans
Volvo 240 Wagon/Washington: Obama, 12 electoral old grunge bands
Cornmobile/Iowa: Obama, 6 electoral corn husk dolls
Lincoln Mark V Coupé/Ohio: Obama, 18 electoral Cleveland steamers
Stripped hulk/Missouri: Romney, 10 electoral archways
Toyota Prius/Oregon: Obama, 7 electoral votes with birds on them
International Scout/Montana: Romney, 3 electoral wide open spaces
Buick Roadmaster/Virginia: Obama, 13 electoral lovers
PROVISIONALLY CALLING FLORIDA'S BATSHIT CRIMINALS FOR OBAMA