For $21,995, Make a States-ment

Today is election day in the US of A, and along with deciding our nation's direction for the next four years, Nice Price or Crack Pipe needs you vote on this Caddy parade car. Of course, like any candidate, money will be the deciding factor in this contest.

I imagine that the Canadians are presently looking down upon us from their perch up there atop the States, and are just shaking their heads in incomprehension. Not over the insanity that is our electoral process here in the United States mind you, but over the fact that yesterday's Vancouver-located Hot Malibu Wagon went down in a 62% Crack Pipe loss. I mean, what was THAT all aboot? Similarly, they also can't understand how we Americans can remain so calm being 50+ days into the NHL lockout.

Speaking of los Estados Unidos de América. . .

Oh America you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey America! Hey America! One thing that is generally ascribed as a mandatory for political advancement here is tiny American flag lapel pins the embrace of the concept of American exceptionalism- the notion that our shit don't stink. That may be of questionable accuracy, but one thing's for sure, we Americans do build some exceptionally large cars.

One of those cars was the Cadillac Sedan De Ville, a luxury barge whose size over the years has swung wildly between large and galaxie class. One of the places where that car's ample dimensions seem to prove valuable is on the parade route, as it will accommodate everything from a bevy of fresh faced Corn Princesses and their ROTC protectors, to an unceasingly smiling politician and their unfathomably photogenic nuclear family.

For $21,995, Make a States-ment

And a most excellent Caddy for either parade participant would be this custom 1995 De Ville "Statesman" Parade Car, which was claimed chopped and be-flagged by Parade Limousines of America's wang.

Featuring an extended wheelbase, extra row of three-wide seats, and an open top to allow sufficient room for either crowd waving or politician's inflated heads, the Statesman is your six-door parade pal. Coming in at a dramatic 271-inches long, and tipping the scales at a robust 4,488-lbs, the Statesman will also make an impression even when not accompanied by high school marching bands and regional champion little league teams.

For $21,995, Make a States-ment

The car is fitted with all the accoutrements one would expect of a mid-nineties Cadillac - 260-bhp V8, power windows (up front only), cruise control and automatic climate control for the driver. Of course the climate control in back is also automatic (heh, heh), although a secondary A/C system is provided.

In addition, there are a pair of Champagne coolers and matching set of chrome cup holders in the back, plus a rear-most seat that's elevated 12 inches so even the most vertically challenged of politico may get their due as a target for rotten eggs and shoes. In case that really is a potential threat, there is a canvas roof included.

For $21,995, Make a States-ment

The seller of this parade lap dog is asking $21,995, and — should you be American — you've no doubt already voted and are just waiting out the results. As you've got time on your hands, let's also find out whether or not this stately Statesman comes up in the winner's column with that price.

What do you think, does this custom Caddy's $21,995 price lead the parade? Or, does that price make this Statesman a losing candidate?

You decide!

eBay or go here if the ad disappears.

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