The GT-R Egoist Solves All Your Victorian Whorehouse NeedsS

At Nissan's Yokohama headquarters, I saw a car that answered a huge problem in my life: how can I buy a GT-R when I have promised myself I will only drive cars with interiors like Victorian whorehouses? Well, thankfully, there's the GT-R Egoist edition.

The GT-R Egoist Solves All Your Victorian Whorehouse NeedsS

Sadly, we in the US don't get this salmon-colored leather variant, but it's made me realize I need to move to Japan, sell all my organs save for the critical ones (one eye, spleen, middle kidney, and appendix), and purchase one of these post-haste.

I mean, look at it! So many shades of pink! Such deep, deep diamond-pattern quilting! It's like a sensual drawing room travelling at 140 mph, packed with corseted ladies who's repute isn't feeling so hot. Look at that back seat! You can almost hear the whalebone snapping and feel that crinoline flying off, giving you a humid, erotic glimpse of sweet, sweet ankle.

The GT-R Egoist Solves All Your Victorian Whorehouse NeedsS

What are you waiting for? It's a limited edition, so you better snag yours, now. This one's mine.