The Europeans pretty much invented the premium hot hatchback, and they still hoard them like Galaxy Bars and Wine Gums. Still, it's always the things we can't get that make us the most hot and bothered, which is why seeing the Audi RS3 face down the BMW M135i gives us perverse pleasure.

This week on Chris Harris on Cars, Chris compares these two mini bits from the two companies' in-house tuning shops (well, the M135i's kind of an M car). The prices are high, the performance is spry, and the outcome is uncertain. Which one will be the most impressive for the sporting-minded driver.

And so, by road, track and a drag-race, Harris delivers a verdict. A hypothetical one for us, but one every intercontinental bench racer will appreciate.