When I was but a wee lad, my great grandpa sat me on his knee and gave me words of wisdom I shall never forget. He said, "Boy, as you're going through life, always remember there's a fine line between being classy and being a total fucking douchenozzle."
The old man couldn't have been more right, especially when it comes to cars. A person can attempt to drive a classy car but easily end up looking like a tool. So how do you walk that fine line? I ask you folks this weekend: What is the classiest car you can drive?
Obviously, "classy" is in the eye of the beholder, but I think we can all agree that "expensive" and "classy" are two very different things. And don't think everything that comes from a single badge is classy either: An older Jaguar XJ is classy; a Jaguar X-Type, well, not so much.
I tell you what cars I think are classy. First, the right color is key to having a classy car. And by that I mean the right color is always black. Black is confident, black is sexy; black is a gentleman's color. Leave the Pussy Magnet Yellows and Arrest Me Reds for the divorcee looking to score tail half his age. A classy driver goes with black. Silver works too, but it's become so ubiquitous these days that it's practically the new beige.
As for the cars themselves, ask yourself, "Would James Bond drive this?" and not "Would Rick Ross drive this?" Older British luxury and sports cars are automatically classy, no question, as are most Mercedes-Benz models built before, say, 1990. Ferraris and Lamborghinis may be awesome, but they're hit or miss when it comes to classiness. Air-cooled 911s are pretty classy.