Everything You Need To Know About The Best Car You Can Buy For $36,000

The first thing you need to know about the Morgan Three Wheeler is, when Alex Roy invites you to drive one of the only ones in the United States you absolutely have to say yes whatever the consequences. There will be consequences.

The fifteenth thing you need to know is when you pull up outside a hip SoHo nightspot after midnight for a Berlin-in-the-1920sesque transexual revue the bouncers will shoo away other cars so you can park out front. While you're inside the car will be so magnetic that musician and car enthusiast Frank Ocean will walk by and take a picture of it while you're inside. Try to notice this as it happens so you can run out and shake his hand.

The seventh thing you need to know is, things will break. For instance, the rod that connects the brake actuator to the brake pedal will just vanish. I assume one was there, but lying upside down with a smartphone in the fuselage, legs poking out the top, I was never able to locate it.

The second thing you need to know is, when you drive a Morgan you will become the center of attention. And not the curious but standoffish attention a Veyron will get you, or the envious stare one gives to a Ferrari owner before leaping to all sorts of negative conclusions. When someone hears and sees you roaring down the avenue in one of these the only reaction is giddy appreciation.

The ninth thing you need to know is the only thing that'll make you more popular than a working Morgan Three Wheeler is a broken one.

Everything You Need To Know About The Best Car You Can Buy For $36,000

The third thing you need to know is many of these someones who will give you attention are women. They will give you a thumbs up. They will want to talk to you. They will want a picture with it. They will want you to send them this photo, creating the rare time in human history when a devastatingly beautiful swimwear/lingerie model will actively try to give you her number.

The thirteenth thing you need to know is the Three Wheeler requires no special skill to drive. The S&S V-twin provides more than adequate power for the Keira Knightly-light car and sounds like an ME-109 strafing a target at 3,000 RPM. At a little over 6-feet I didn't find the car too cramped, although I had to adjust a bit to work the Miata-sourced transmission.

Everything You Need To Know About The Best Car You Can Buy For $36,000

The tenth thing you need to know is Jeffery owns many English cars, so when he pulls up in an Austin Mini the color of cornmeal with an image of himself painted on the side and sees you trying to repair the Three Wheeler you can trust he's got a tool kit with him and he'll be generous with its contents.

The sixth thing you need to know is it's absolutely a British car, and thus has the visual poetry of a product designed by the people who gave us Shakespeare and yet also the engineering of the same people who gave us the Reliant Robin. The sort of chaps who think "Hey, if it's good enough for a WWI vet it's good enough for the 21st century."

The eleventh thing you need to know is all you need to fix a busted brake pedal on a Morgan Three Wheeler is a flexible back, an allen wrench, some tape, and a coat hanger gifted to you by the charming hostess back at The Standard (many thanks Devonne). It also helps to have been reading Parking Lot Mechanic recently.

The fifth thing you need to know about this particular automobile is you'll look cool carrying around the removable steering wheel. It's both fashion accessory and brilliant anti-theft device and when you walk up to the restaurant below The Standard you'll be able to breeze into a prime table by suggesting you'd like to sit in view of you car, ostensibly to monitor the parking ticket you know you're not going to get.

Everything You Need To Know About The Best Car You Can Buy For $36,000

The twelfth thing you need to know is Alex Roy has many friends. There are the old ones, who, in a city of millions seem to number every third person. The guy who slept on his couch while going through a split, the former business partner, the sister of an old-flame.

And then there are the new ones. Jeffery in the Mini and his coterie. The BMW fan who stops him on the street and offers his phone and its LED flashlight app and splits packing tape with his teeth. The guys building Miata-based kit cars. A fellow who knows Elon Musk's mom. Roy is as magnetic as his cars, an impressive feat for a guy who appears to only own one jacket.

The last thing you need to know is to bring a camera with you, so your only record of an evening isn't a bunch of Instagram photos.

Everything You Need To Know About The Best Car You Can Buy For $36,000

The fourteenth thing you need to know is that it's still an old design and no modern updates can overcome a steering radius on par with the HMS Hood and the suspension challenges of having a massive wheel directly behind you.

But who cares? It's the new most-fun-you-can-have-with-your-pants-on and I do recommend you wear pants so you don't singe your calf on the side-mounted pipes.