This iPad Car Holder From Hammacher Is An Exciting New Way To Die In A Car Crash

You know how you've always wanted your mangled corpse to be pried out of the remains of your smoldering car, but have always been too ashamed to make it happen because of the crappy paperbacks and magazines you read while driving? Then, buddy, are you in luck.

Our pals over at the East-German-Superhero-Secret-Identity-named company, Hammacher Schlemmler, have made just the thing for you— this cup-holder mounted, swivel-able iPad holder.

Thanks to this little plastic marvel, you can easily access your iPad while hurtling down the street at a mile-a-minute. When the paramedics come to hose you off the dashboard, you know they'll be saying "Hey! Is this guy's Angry Birds score for real? WOW. And, look— he's got the new issue of The Daily!" as they look admiringly at the stew of your brains on the pavement. "This guy's got it all figured out!" Maybe one of them will even tuck a bit of paper with their phone number between some exposed ribs!

Yes, this thing is way, way more awesome than some piece of crap that mounts your iPad for use by passengers or kids who just can't really appreciate how awesome it is. You're the driver, remember. You get all the toys. The good people over at Hamburgler Schmeckler Hamsmacker Swimmlers Handmusher Smackler H&M get this.

Wait, there's already an H&M? Damnit.