Drunk Driver Pees All Over Breathalyzer Tests

A 26-year old forklift driver from New Zealand was so drunk he drove right into an elderly woman's home. If that didn't upset the police enough, he then did the other thing drunk people like to do: urinate on things.

The peeing came when Ryan Scott Thompson, the drunk-driving urinator, was at the police station in handcuffs. While seated, he decided he may as well void his bladder, and did so, right into a box of breath screening tubes. The police officers nearby

...turned to see Thompson, still seated, urinating into a box of breath screening tubes. Thompson continued urinating despite repeated demands to stop.

My advice to the police department of Christchurch, NZ? Drunk guys don't stop peeing because you tell them to. It never works. Besides, it's not like you were going to, you know, save the tubes he didn't quite pee in. Those 300 breathalyzer tubes were doomed. May as well let the guy just finish.

Thompson recorded a breath-alcohol reading of 1137mcg/L, which in real American, non-metric terms comes to "profoundly fucked up."

The fines seem actually pretty reasonable for the crime, especially when converted to US dollars: $87 for the tubes, a $160 fine for "willful damage" and about $1200 to the poor old lady for "emotional harm." Sounds like he's getting off pretty easy.

(Thanks, Steve Lehto!)