For $19,500, This E60 Demands High BallersS

For some, BMW's E60 looks a little too close to Dame Edna for comfort, but it's undeniable that, visuals aside, it's an all around great car. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe E60 is apparently a lot of great cars all rolled into one, but does that make its price worthwhile when considered as a package deal?

Fat, drunk and stupid may be no way to go through life, but should you be a wagon, stealthy, clean and cheap certainly are. That seemed the case yesterday as an overwhelming 88.87% of you voted the SHO-powered Taurus longroof a Nice Price win.

Some car ads are more difficult to read that others - hell, some of my NPOCP posts are as well - but on occasion there are ads that seem to have been written in esperanto or while on pyote or something. The ad for this 2004 BMW 545i just happens to be one of those.

For $19,500, This E60 Demands High BallersS

First off, let me just say that I consider the E60 to be the ultimate expression of BMW's attempt at defining a new iconic design paradigm - what with its exaggerated headlamp wings, jazz-hands tail lights, and awkward boot lid seam. I also consider the effort to have been wildly unsuccessful. Like Emo makeup on chubby males, just because it's different doesn't make it right or good.

Perhaps you find the styling of the E60 to be a little less polarizing, and appreciate what an inherently well engineered car it is. If so, it'll be interesting to see what you make of this one, which is described by its seller as a 2004 BMW 545i sport package 6 Speed manual hard to find transform in to a 2008 ///M5 race edition.

Did you get that? Race edition. He also claims that it sounds like Formula One cars, all of them. Part of that is evidently due to the 4.8-litre N62 having been dropped under hood in replacement of the 4.4 edition originally employed to propel the car. Behind that factory 367-bhp vee-acht is a stick shift you can have sechs with. The ad notes that the car has been roided up with an AFE intake and G-Force ECU chip, hence all the F1 ruckus. Of course that all probably pales in comparison to an actual E60 M5's locomotive-like V10.

For $19,500, This E60 Demands High BallersS

The rest of the car has been given the faux M5 look, although the builder has taken the illusion pretty far, including the M-car's fender vents and bold MOTORSPORT decals on the rockers. Wheels are said to be from the 2012 M1, but as that car doesn't exist outside of a Roundel-lover's wet dream, I think they're actually 1M units. Whatever, they're wrapped in meats thinner than a deli slice and the rears are described as staggered. Not a good thing for wheels or how you are walking home from the bar at 3-AM.

On the inside it's serious seats, lots of black leather and a dromedary dashboard that rivals the exterior in questionable design aesthetics. It all looks to have held up reasonably well for the car's 112K on the clock. Should that offend your mileage sensibilities, the engine is said to only rock 73K.

For $19,500, This E60 Demands High BallersS

The seller claims to have spent a ton of money on the car - which if counted in pennies would be about $3,632. If paper, then it's a more impressive $908,000. Perhaps however that's a metaphorical ton and the actual amount is somewhere in between. He also says that his price for this 545i-M5-race edition-punctuation vampire is $19,500, and he won't entertain any low-ballers.

Now it's been so hot these past few days that even my dog's a low baller, and his furry ass was fixed years ago so I don't even know what he's keeping in there. Perhaps if the seller is truthful in only wanting to sell the car to the alternative high ballers then he'll just have to wait until winter. I know that when it gets really cold I'm not just a high baller, I think maybe I've suddenly developed a couple of additional adam's apples.

Discounting the whole ball business, what do you think about his $19,500 price? Does that make this a bargain basement bimmer? Or, is this an E60 for which you wouldn't drop and give me twenty?

You decide!

Bad Charlotte Craigslist or go here if the ad is too awesome to exist.

H/T to just John for the hookup!

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