It appears that The Tall One, The Loud One, the real Jeremy Clarkson, the host of Top Gear, the Jezza himself has broken down and signed up for Twitter. The account is @jcrclarksonesq and he's accrued nearly 100,000 followers in just three days. UPDATE!
Now you no longer have an excuse.
James May's account, @MrJamesMay, has more followers than Clarkson at 143,029 to Clarkson's 92,454. Richard Hammond
is still living in his hamster hole and has no Twitter account. has a sad 14,119 followers.
Update: Richard Porter, founder of Sniff Petrol and Top Gear's script editor, confirmed @jcrclarksonesq as Clarkson's real twitter on a Speed podcast last week. You can hear the podcast here, and the confirmation is at the 23:50 mark.
(Hat tip to porsche9146, 98 forever. apparent deltawing driver and Stelios for the confirmation!)