Not too long after I got taken on and started writing here at Jalopnik, Ray taught me several very important lessons. One of the biggest ones was an essential idiom: Donuts involve spinning tires; doughnuts go well with coffee. Cue cravings.
Shall we pay tribute to the humble, profoundly unhealthy, supremely irresistible doughnut, as perfectly engineered a decadent food trifle as has ever been invented? Given that we as a people appreciate round objects, its shape is naturally appealing. Given the importance of breakfast (well, importance of something to modulate that coffee), its traditional intention is respectable. Given the evolution of the human taste sense, the combination of sweet and savory is...okay, back in a second.
Never mind the fascinating cultural connotations, especially relating to those sworn to serve and protect. Hey, if I had to wear that uniform and carry ten pounds on my belt and face all that stress, I'd appreciate a treat once in a while, too. Along with a few other conveniences, as Prfctapex related in his tale of a cheerful flatfoot who partook of rolling facilities and ended up at exactly the right place at exactly the right time: