In October of 1947, Chuck Yeager piloted the Bell X-1 rocket plane through the sound barrier and into the history books. While not quite that fast, today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe SBC-powered Suzuki X90 should be just as scary to drive, and its price may prove a substantial barrier.
You may be asking yourself, what the hell, two custom Suzuki trucks in a row, what's going on here? Well, yesterday's 1988 Sidekick with its tiny pickup bed and even smaller diesel power proved especially deserving of a Crack pipe loss, at least according to 87% of you, so today we're going to try again. And we'll keep doing custom Suzukis until you people get it right!
After introducing the larger and less tits-uppable Sidekick, Suzuki finally laid to rest the Samurai in the U.S.. That however left a hole in the Japanese maker's line up the way an empty box of Ho Hos leaves a hole in my heart. To salve the pain Suzuki introduced the X90 - and if a car may be considered equitable to tasty snack foods, then you couldn't get much more Twinkie than the new small 4x4. With its tiny, cartoonish appearance, it was almost as though Suzuki had discovered an untapped and profitable market for such a car - a rich vein of effete men and non-evil clowns.
So twee was the t-topped two-seater that even serial menstruators found it too girly to drive, and the X90 left the U.S. market after only three model years, and lots of pointing and laughing. Part of the reason it was impossible to imagine the X90 without its wearing a tutu was the anemic 1.6-litre four that only provided 95-bhp to begrudgingly move the truck's 2,400-pound mass. Available 4-wheel drive seemed almost pointless on the X90 as clowns don't ski. All in all, the littlest Suzuki was so wrong, there doesn't seem to be much that could have made it right.
That is, until today.
Like Forrest Gump and the sexual position known as the Davey Crockett, this truck is different. You see, in place of the mewing box of kittens the factory lovingly placed under the hood, this 1997 Suzuki X90 has a tried and true SBC which should move it from Twinkie to Ho-Ho-Holy Shit! Actually it's not a 350 Chevy engine, but the much rarer 358 Cherolet topped with a 750 CFM Elberblock Carberator. You may remember Elderblock from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Seriously, I love a seller who spells even worse than I do. Makes me feel like a big man.
Regardless of whether or not you passed 7th grade English or are versed in the machinations of Spell Check, this Suzuki will make you feel big as it contains its romper-stomper V8 and high stall 700R within a diminutive 86-inch wheelbase and 66-inch overall width. That pretty much ensures
certain death entertainment at each stab of the loud pedal.
The funny thing is, despite the massive motor under the hood the rest of the X90 looks completely stock, and like something a 13-year old girl might wear on a charm bracelet. It has a pair of removable smoked glass roof panels which should make extrication following unwarranted excursions into the engine's higher ranges of power application all the easier, and a trunk so small it's more like an externally accessible glovebox. The chrome wheels here attempt to butch things up a bit, but are overwhelmed by the sense that it still looks like a full season of Glee driving down the street.
Okay, I've been a little unkind on this truck, which obviously exhibits a good deal of thought and effort in the dropping of that monster under the hood. It makes it seem hard-edged and dangerous in the way that Miley Cyrus' under-boob tattoo attempts, but fails. There's an unwritten rule - from the annals of automotive history - that demands the builder of a custom car must at some point in time offer it for sale, whether finished or not. In this case, it looks like the pie is fully baked, even if the truck it is based upon was originally only half-so. It's obviously for that reason that this X90 is offered for sale, the reasoning behind its $12,000 asking price however, are less easily discerned.
What do you think about that price for this X90? Is twelve large a fair price for this custom truck? Or, is that too large a fee for something so small and twee?
H/T to Pete for the hookup!
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