What's the ultimate car to win back a spouse after an affair?

Former Gemballa 911 owner, Dr. Phil is right: Cheating is a dang-gum way to ruin a relationship. But if you must have an affair, at least have the courtesy to buy her a goddamn car. The wife, I mean. What's the ultimate car to win back a spouse after an affair?

Of course, most spouses will see clear through such shallow attempts at reconciliation. (We're only considering spouses who can be bought, here.) Ashton Kutcher, for example, opted for a big, Lexus hybrid sedan. The symbolism isn't bad — it implies new-found stability while appealing to Ms. Moore's green-tinted, raw-food-eating proclivities.

Did it work? Nah. Why? Because it's all about him. Ol' Ash should have opted for a car model onto which she could project her own self-image. Hard to say what that might be, but we've seen some of her movies, and we're going with the CLK 63 AMG Black Series. She's that angry.

(Photo: Jemal Countess/Getty Images)

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