We've decided that the best Jalopnik writers are the ones we grow ourselves. That said, we're looking for a couple of writers and editorial assistants who not only know cars and car culture, but who can write about them in a way that doesn't suck.

The requirements (and please, don't waste our time or yours if you don't meet or exceed the following):

• One writer position's available in New York City, and one writer position's available in either Los Angeles or Detroit. The editorial assistant positions are available in New York City only.
• You have to know your cars. Not just the make, model and year — but also know why cars, both in specific and in general, are relevant to you, me and all of society.
• For the writer positions, you need to have a couple years of writing about cars or transportation — for a website, magazine, college newspaper, or some other professional or semi-professional outlet. For the editorial assistant positions, you need to be a recent J-school graduate or some other place where you learned how to write.
• You understand how to explain things. You don't just need to know cars, you need to be able to explain car geek things to people who are not car geeks in a way that they won't fall asleep and drool on their keyboard, but will in fact be riveted and want to be slightly geekier as a result of your awesome car writing.
• Reviewing skills. You need to be able to tell people the best cars to buy — for real life — and why. And do it quickly.
• You need to be a hard worker.
• You should be opinionated. The kind of person who wins arguments because they're right, they're smart and they're funny. Not because they're bullies.
• You have some other talents — in a field like photography, art, or video editing. Link us to copies of your work (no, don't attach them — if you can't figure out how to create a basic website or flickr gallery, then I'm not sure this place is the right one for you anyway).

The gig's full time. The pay is competitive, and so are the benefits. And you'll be a core part of the daily Jalopnik team. Apply here: jobs@jalopnik.com with the subject "Car Writer" (seriously, I have an auto-forwarder set up. If you use another subject line it won't go through). NO ATTACHMENTS. We're really looking forward to hearing from you (if you are great).