An amusingly British way to sell your rare Austin Ute

It's rarer than hen's teeth and more rotten than a pear sitting in the owner's orchard, but that is only the beginning of the amusing description that accompanies this 1976 Austin Ute.

Even though it runs as sweet as a nut (we are also puzzled by the origin of this saying), the brakes are as nonexistent as the current owner's "mate's sex life". It has "no mod cons" and no wing mirrors, which somehow translate in the seller's mind to previous female ownership.

All of this talk of festering plumbs and sexually frustrated mates has translated to over 20,000 views of this amusing and rambling Ebay auction, but not a whole lot of bids on the rusty Austin Ute it is advertising. With only a few hours left on the auction, bidding is currently at £287.00 or $460.

[Ebay.co.uk]