Drunk woman steals special-needs bus in post-breakup crime spree

Amidst a bad breakup, a 22-year-old woman got drunk, stole a school bus and planned to drive it 3,000 miles to California. In Hollywood that would have been the plot of a feel-good date movie.

In Carteret County, North Carolina, however, it's larceny of a motor vehicle, eight charges of breaking-and-entering in a motor vehicle, five counts of damage to property and DWI.

Cops say the woman vandalized seven school buses, then she found the keys to one of them and drove off in it. That bus happened to be specially fitted for handicapped children. School officials said keys aren't normally kept in the buses, but that particular bus had multiple drivers.

Fleeing the scene, the woman drove the bus to a friend's house. The friend's husband called police, and then gave reporters the quote of the decade.

People get drunk and what not, as long as they have someone around to take care of them, I'm OK with that," Guthrie said, "but when you start showing up with stolen school buses, that's where I draw the line.

Indeed, sir. No wishy-washy moral relativism for you on this day!

(Hat tip to NcccBear!)