Don't you hate it when you have to park your car all the way outside the building you're going into? Don't stand for this malarkey any longer! Enjoy a tour of these ten bold innovations in automobile-architecture synergy, as chosen by Jalopnik readers.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day — our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Photo Credit: AP
10.) Drive-thru Wedding Chapel
Suggested By: LanciaZeroFTW
Why it's bizarre: Honestly, this thing is in Vegas, and we really have no right to be surprised in the least, but there is something absolutely unreal about the stop ‘n' shop quality of this wayside marryin' church.
If you're thinking that the couples that marry here won't last, don't worry, because we wouldn't be surprised if there's a drive thru divorce court just around the corner.
Photo Credit: Joy Moore
9.) Drive-thru sex shop
Suggested By: 87CE 95PV Type Я
Why it's bizarre: Okay, so your shotgun Cadillac wedding didn't work out. Don't worry, because you can get right on back in your car and get the next best thing. Just head on over to Huntsville, Alabama, and there's Pleasures, where you can learn to forget your Vegas misadventures from the very comfort of your motor vehicle.
Photo Credit: Jalopnik
8.) Brazilian Drive-in motels
Suggested By: biodieselvw
Why it's bizarre: Freshly loaded with your Alabama goods, take a trip down to Brazil and rent yourself Volkswagen Gol, because you're going to forget all of your troubles in a pay-by-the-minute Brazilian motel. Just drive on in, pull the curtain and you're set for some perfect physical catharsis!
Photo Credit: ericandemilysadventures
7.) Drive-thru pandemic examination room
Suggested By: SpellingNazi
Why it's bizarre: So it is true - things can get crazy on the rebound, and your Brazilian vacation has put you under the questioning eye of the United States Center for Disease Control. Do they have to risk infecting hospital patients and employees just because you have a couple diseases you can't spell? Not anymore! Stanford figured out back in 2009 that when it comes to deadly pandemics, it's a lot easier on everyone if you just tough it out in your car and keep from spreading plague to all the nice, healthy people working at the hospital. Just drive on up – I'm sure they have good news!
Photo Credit: Stanford Hospital and Clinics
6.) Drive-thru prayer
Suggested By: Jackie
Why it's bizarre: We're sorry to say that there's nothing that the United States government can do for your affliction, but that doesn't mean that help isn't around the corner. You don't even have to get out of your car! Just stop by your local prayer booth and sort everything out there. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and sometimes that means you're going to find yourself praying at a former Fotomat. Hey, if that doesn't work, at least there's always booze, as you shall soon see.
Photo Credit: turkeychic
Suggested By: zerobandwidth
Why it's bizarre: Drunk driving laws aren't the oldest things on the books, but come on, selling booze to people in a car is just out of control. What, did you guys just forget that it was illegal?
Proponents of Brew-Thru and other drive-thru liquor stores will tell you that there's really nothing wrong with loading alcohol straight into a car rather than walking it back to your car, but we'll be goddamned before it ever looks normal to see the operator of a motor vehicle purchase the second half of the drunk-driving equation right there in the car.
Photo Credit: Mike Miller
4.) Drive-thru law firm
Suggested By: The SlurpeeMan
Why it's bizarre: You may have racked up some criminal charges thanks to all of that Brew-thru goods you've been drinking, so it would be a good time to go see a lawyer. Man, you have a lot of court cases to deal with. I guess you shouldn't have run over all those old ladies. If only there was a way to make things with your lawsuits go faster...like a drive thru window...oh wait! The Kocian Law Group opened up just one such branch over in Manchester, Connecticut. This should make all those trials go by in a snap - time to get back to drinking!
Photo Credit: Jalopnik
3.) New Orleans Daiquiris
Suggested By: Freakusaurus
Why it's bizarre: There are tons of drive-thru beer and alchohol stores, and they're not really that crazy. I mean, yes you have alcohol in your car, but even in a walk in booze-mart, you end up putting those cases of brewskis into your car anyway. No, we had to go down to New Orleans to see some real drive-thru liquor, and the healthy dose of United States courtroom justice that declared a plastic wrap-sealed slushy a "closed container." If it wasn't good old American ingenuity that brought the world legal in-car booze, I don't know what did.
Photo Credit: Kelli Y.
2.) Liquor AND guns
Suggested By: USERNAME
Why it's bizarre: Great as it is to have letter-of-the-law flaunting booze slushies available from your local drive-thru, nothing quite says "FREEDOM" with the same bald-eagle cry as "liquor and guns drive thru." We look forward to taking a trip down to Texas to visit this shop, set up an impromptu shooting range in a field, and maybe enjoy some lighthearted, drunken manslaughter.
Photo Credit: Roy Luck
1.) Drive-thru Funeral Parlor
Suggested By: $kaycog
Why it's bizarre: After all the drunk driving you've been doing, it's no surprise that you've ended up dead. What better way to do justice to the memory of your fatal drive-thru obsession than with a drive thru-funeral parlor?
The only problem, as reader BigHarv points out, is that we don't know the proper drive-thru funeral etiquette. "Is it rude to have a dirty car? Should you stick to the black Town Car that day, leaving the red Mustang at home as not to offend anyone? Can you put a drunk wake in the back of your pickup? And more than anything, is there a nice clear stretch in front of the view window stop? Because I'll be honest, I like the idea of my body being viewed, then having the mourners do a big smoky burnout."
It's the Jalopnik way to go.
Photo Credit: gardenskate