Mercifully, the nuevo-retro Ferrari F-340 is a one-off

As a self-styled tastemaker I strive to make hard judgments. Something is good or something is bad. Gray areas make for bad copy. Unfortunately, this coach-built Ferrari 456-based F-340 Competizione is a confusing mix of the enchanting and off-putting.

Inspired by the Ferrari 340 Mexico Berlinetta, this one-of-a-kind Ferrari F-340 is already inspired by a car that just barely works. A race car with proportions more functionally important than aesthetically pleasing, but authentic and purposeful.

The same can't be said of the F-340, whose sole purpose is to mimic this classic Carrera Panamericana racer. Grafted onto a donor Ferrari 456 platform, designers created an aluminum body that's more than a foot longer than the original car.

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What's classic on the original is still classic on this remake. The pedestrian-slaying fenders, gorgeous greenhouse, and football field-length front hood all still work. The same can't be said for the modern touches, which include those funky quad-bulb headlights, mesh inlets, and an attempt at diffusers.

Ultimately, donating one Ferrari 456 to the cause of modern nostalgia isn't too great a loss and anything with a Ferrari V12 and an honest six-speed manual transmission's a piece of art.

Good? Bad? Who cares? It's as red as Santa's ass in a world still awash in beige, and I'm not the one person who spent my hard-earned hedge fund money on it. Tastemaker approved!