Do not try to bend the Subaru Matrix — that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: there is no Subaru Matrix.

There totally is, however, a hawkeye Subaru WRX with a Matrix wrap so lovingly put together it's almost beyond mocking. If you like the Matrix so much you put in this kind of effort maybe you should be rewarded instead of mocked. I somehow doubt the commenters will feel the same.

(Hat tip to auto123_fr!)