Doug Schell, an Ohio expediter and professional wrestler, has for the past few years also been the proud owner of a 1997 Ford E-250 van with 1.2 million miles on its original engine and most other original parts — that is, until July 31, when the Windsor V8 finally gave up the ghost just 14 miles short of 1.3 million miles. Too bad no one has penned a proper farewell as well-built as Zerobandwidth's last Saab Sonnet:
The Swedes were great at building cars for years.
Designs were quirky, fun, and edgy. But
Then all our Swedish car love turned to tears
When SAAB's finances got stabbed in the gut.
Where now are our 9-3's, 9-5's, and all
Those other wond'rous cars they brought to us?
Where will we find such driving joy this fall,
When autumn leaves excuse our driving lust?
If winter's snows blanket our roads in white,
And beg our hooning urge to dance and slide,
What Swedish carriage will reflect the light
That shines on snow thrown by throttle applied?
Into that long good night our SAAB must go.
And now the Swedes hang all hope on Volvo.