On July 18th, 1936, the original Oscar Mayer Wienermobile first hit the road to spread its mission of wiener domination. Today, 75 years later, the phallic meat-mobile is here in New York City to restore pride to a similar-sounding name sullied by salacious sexting.

To celebrate its 75th anniversary, the Wienermobile — a GM chassis cab under an oversized meat-and-bread suit — hit New York City today to assert wiener dominance over Gray's Papaya and the rest of the fruit-flavored-drink-plus-hot dog vendors with an event on 75th Street and Broadway.

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From there, the Wienermobile is heading down to the New York Stock Exchange where — we can only hope — a man dressed up in a giant wiener will be ringing the closing bell at the NYSE.

I took a look inside while it was parked at 75th Street, and when I climbed out, a little girl and boy both started to clap and giggle. God bless America — a land where a man climbing out of a giant sausage is cheer-worthy.

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