"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers." It's been on every pass-around e-mail list of supposedly "real" newspaper headlines, whose shoddy editing has revealed unintended twists in the news.

Creators of such lists took their inspiration from the ongoing collections of Jay Leno and Richard Lederer, whose book "Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language" gave such gaffes its name. While some of these headlines have been disproven, today's COTD is an homage, if you will, to legitimately anguished assaults.

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Scottydawg picked up on the dark absurdity of a highway strewn with junked cars, and recalled a particularly anguished headline about typhoons. Naturally, he recast it with topical relevancy for our pleasure:

Car crashes into cemetery, hundreds dead.

Badump bump.