Putting aside the provocative number of tickets an Albuquerque woman received from the local PD, she does seem to be taking "drive fast, take chances" too literally. Still, Albuquerque appears to have a shitload of red-light cameras, does it not?

Either way, this 31-year-old's in trouble, at least civilly, considering red-light-cam traffic offenses aren't criminal. There are, of course, the 69 blown red lights and she was also clocked doing 88 mph in a 30. Police say she avoided capture when her Chevrolet Impala went back in time. Badump bump. Surprisingly, She's also not the first woman in the Southwest to get nailed 69 times.

What a pickle. Not only do big brother's cameras get you, then not only do the KRQE-TV talking heads call you the "grim reaper on wheels," but they also trot out your rap sheet for battery, prostitution, forgery and that old heroin habit. Can't a woman live?