For $39,995, OMG, They Killed Ferrari, You Bastards!

Ferrari once maintained that to carry the Prancing Horse, a road car must also carry twelve cylinders. Less a stickler, the owner of today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe 1964 330 GT 2+2 says eight is enough.

In 1936, King Edward the Inbred VIII abdicated the British throne so he could marry American Wallace and Gromit Wallis Simpson. That was a pretty bold move and, in contrast to yesterday's Jensen Interceptor that put a big Yank inside a Brit, it was obvious that Eddie wanted to put a little Brit inside an American. Badda-bing! What's also funny is that a fully 64% of you wouldn't have minded getting screwed too, in case that Jensen turned out to cost a whole lot more than its $3,500 asking price.

Wallis, bloody hell!

Thirty-five hundred is almost chump change – although that being said I haven't met too many chumps carrying around that kind of cheddar. Still, anything that you could potentially put on a credit card is within the realm of possibilities. Multiply that by ten however, and opinions change. In that kind of pricing stratosphere the car better be pretty special, and today's contender being a Ferrari establishes itself as special right off the bat.

For $39,995, OMG, They Killed Ferrari, You Bastards!

However, batty is what you might think when you pop the rosso-painted bonnet and find not Gioacchino Colombo's glorious 3,967-cc V12 but something that's more typically described in terms of cubic inches. That's right, this 1964 four headlight 330 GT 2+2 has at some point in its life lost its mittens - it being a naughty kitten - and it seems along with those has gone the V12. Described as a travesty before God ‘barn find' it's been partially restored and now has the Heartbeat of America under its hood. The SBC may be as welcome a discovery here as an SBD would be in a crowded elevator, but lacking the original motor, what's a MacGyver to do? The 350 cid Chevy V8 does weigh in at over a litre more in displacement than the 330's original twelve, and unlike that lie that women tell about size not mattering, there's truthiness in the maxim about there being no substitute for cubic inches.

Alternatively, the guy who did this could just be a big dick.

The 330 GT 2+2 was Ferrari's grand touring car of the mid to late sixties, and as such it sported four seats and Luxury appointments wrapped in what could be generously described as one of Pininfarina's lesser efforts. The car itself is also generous, sitting on a 104.2-inch wheelbase and tipping the scales (with the alloy V12) at 3,189-lbs. A total quantity of 1,137 were built, in two versions, the first with the questionable four lamp set up, and a second with a smoother, sloping hood two-light clip. The chassis, while similar to the other 330 models, is actually unique to the 2+2, although the engine – a derivation of the 400 Superamerica's 4-litre mill – was shared across all the 330 models.

Not that it matters here.

The 330 came with a five speed stick and three pedals down where your feet do the work, but adding automatic to injury, this one has some sort of THM350 three speed. Gears are selected through a mullet-worthy shifter mounted on a bare aluminum tunnel. As a matter of fact, the whole floor is as bare as is Olivia Munn, and the seller claims that all it needs is carpet to fix that! He also doesn't want bids by anyone who has to get the okay of their wife or mom, indicating that either (a.) he's very serious about making this sale and has no time for poseurs, or (b.) he's a big dick.

For $39,995, OMG, They Killed Ferrari, You Bastards!

Other issues are the lack of bumpers - replaced with thin nerf bars - and, well, did I mention that this thing has a Chevy motor? To its credit, it is painted an appropriate shade of red and it looks like it sits on a nice set of Borrani 90-spoke rims. Other than that, you could make some noise at the local Italian car show or Dairy Queen parking lot -save for opening the hood that is.

For $39,995, OMG, They Killed Ferrari, You Bastards!

Now, 330 GT 2+2s are not the most desirable of Ferrari models- hell pretty much anything with a Prancing Horse and 4 seats gets a pass from interested parties as long as there's two-seaters to be had. Here, this seller is asking $39,995 to take on his shame project in process. That's not a huge lump of cash for something with a Ferrari badge branded on its ass, but then this car has what's known as transvestite's syndrome, causing it to come across as something it's not. And no matter how far you tuck in its junk, every time you open that aluminum hood - expecting that Olivia Munn V12 goodness, you'll be greeted by the automotive equivalent of a big, fat dick.

But, maybe that works for you, perhaps what pisses you off about Ferraris is the number of carbs the engines have, or the 12 quarts of oil they require at each change. And maybe you look to the Gods and exclaim why, oh why can't I have an engine in my Ferrari that doesn't require metric bolts?! This would be your car.

And, then the question must be asked, is that $39,995 asking price also desirable? Or, is that a price that makes you think this seller is just a big dick?

You decide!


eBay or go here if the ad disappears. H/T to Party-vi for the hookup!

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