For $4,400, Wham-Bam-Z4 Scam?

The BMW Z4 took its predecessor's layout - twee two-seat roadster - and turned it up a notch. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe M-edition is even notchier, but is its price notchy or nice?

Have you ever heard that urban myth about an ad for some particularly desirable car, at an unbelievable price, that turns out to a spurned woman's revenge against her ex? The story usually goes that the woman has been instructed by her husband to sell the car, and send him the proceeds, as his trophy wife's spending habits rival her sexual appetites. The wife then places an ad for the car at a crazy-low price and sends him the pittance, usually along with a yard present from the dog.

This 2006 BMW Z4 M could just be that car.

Offered up for $4,400 - or about a fifth of what Kelly, the Blue Book lady says it's worth - this dark silver 70K BMW convertible seems like a screamin' deal. Just so we're all on the same page here, the M is the hot version of the Z4 Roadster (and yes, with wind-up windows it's not really a roadster, but work with me here, that's what BMW calls it), and is powered by the 3.2-litre DOHC 24-valve straight six with the company's double VANOS variable valve timing. That's the same engine used in the contemporary M3, although space limitations here result in 330-bhp, three fewer than in the bigger cars. Backing up the engine is a six-speed manual, and the 3277-lb Roadster is good for zero to sixty sprints in the four and a half second range, which ain't half bad.

For $4,400, Wham-Bam-Z4 Scam?

This particular example looks to be almost factory fresh, and along with the M engine it gets studly brakes, a limited slip rear end, and big meats at each corner. On the downside, the M package does little to overcome the Z4's inherent Bangleness, being one of the funkiest of the Bangle bunch. But, for $4,400, that could probably be overlooked. There's a few explanations for this seemingly once in a lifetime opportunity, so lets have a look at each before we get to the vote.

The first explanation is that it is simply a typo, and the seller missed adding a 1, 2, or even 3, ahead of the forty four hundred asking price. That seems logical, but as the ad has been sitting on Craigslist for the better part of a week, you'd think he'd have figured that out by now.

The next likely scenario is the aforementioned vindictive divorcee, screwing her ex and bringing an urban myth to life. That's about as likely as monkeys flying out of your butt as you drive off in your incredibly cheap Z4 M, however.

The final, and most plausible explanation is that this is a scam, likely a ruse created by a disgraced medical researcher in order to lure subjects for his diabolical experiments. This Z4 M is so cheap it might be all it takes to draw you to the remote Sheboygan suburb of Adell Wisconsin, where upon seeing the car, and being told that yes, the price is correct, you begin hyperventilating and fearing you might pass out. Of course you actually do faint, or are clobbered from behind. Either way, when you wake up, you're strapped to an operating table, your shoulder hurts like a sumbitch, and someone is breathing heavily in your ear. Fighting against the pain, you turn your head, and to your horror, discover that a chimpanzee's head has been surgically grafted onto your body - and he's a real ugly one too. Both yours and the chimp's eyes widen in panic and you each let out a guttural moan. Seemingly simultaneously, one of you farts - you're not sure which - but still it just comes out your ass.

Eventually the mad scientist knocks both you and your monkey out again and then leaves the one and a half of you, unconscious, on a bus bound for Chicago. Sadly, the two blows to the head have resulted in your totally forgetting the location of the surgery, and the chimp seems to be useless for directions. You end up having to go through life with your redundant head as when they passed Health Care Reform they strangely didn't think to cover de-chimpification. And trying to return to the normal routine of your pre-two-headed life is tough, as all the chimp wants to do is masturbate and throw poo, which of course makes dating and family gatherings awkward. Also, it turns out you and the chimp have nothing in common save for the fapping.

But the worst part of the experience is that you never got that jaw-dropping deal on the BMW Z4 M that was the cause of your current predicament. Well, that and the fact that your monkey head's breath smells like monkey ass.

This, as I see it, is the most likely reason this rocket roadster is being offered for so cheap a price. Caveat Emptor, indeed.

The question is, is that a deal that's so good that you'd risk getting chimp-headed off at the pass? Or, is that price so obviously whacked that it's not even worth bothering?

You decide!


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