When you were a kid, your Tonka® dump truck was powered by imagination and a good shove. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Toyota Dumper Mini-truck, on the other hand, is powered by a Chevy V8. Oh what a feeling!
Nice as it was, yesterday's all original '71 ‘Cuda got dumped on for its price and somewhat humble mechanicals, gaining an 80% Crack Pipe vote for its 80 grand asking. As original as that Plymouth was (and yes, it and the contemporary Challenger were more differentiated than I had remembered, mea culpa for the brain-fart), today's Toyota is equally un-so, but its price and features may make you overlook its non-conventional demeanor.
The Toyota Hilux was one of the original mini trucks to be pooped out of Japan and dropped on the American market. A combination of rock-solid durability and low prices made them treasured possessions by members of both the lawn care and pool cleaning industries. Back in the day, Toyota - along with other mini-truck makers - got caught in a trade war between Japan and the U.S., resulting in stiff tariffs being enacted against the import of complete vehicles. That necessitated the establishment of factories in California (notably the Paramount Boulevard plant in Lakewood) to assemble and attach the beds to the ass-less trucks arriving from Japan.
Eventually the tariffs were dropped, but the Toyota mini pickup continued to be staple of both externally-employed entrepreneur and everyman. Today's 1981 4X4 is emblematic of the breed, but gains two important features - that of an SBC V8 out of a '68 ‘Vette, and a dump bed.
Now, typically taking a dump in bed means you're ready for a sassy set of Depends and dinner at 4:30, but here it means a bed that raises to a angle that your average 4:30 dinner goer would require Viagra@ to obtain. There's no pictures of this truck from the side so it's impossible to tell if it's a short or long bed, but either way, lifting it up will slide those cans of PBR back to an easy reach in two shakes of a ram's dinkus.
Under the hood, the 22R 2.4-litre four banger (that was a big four!) has been replaced by a 350 cubic inch Chevy V8, claimed to be out of a 1968 Corvette. Of course that leads to the rumination of a '68 ‘Vette with a Toyota 22R under its hood in order to return balance to the world. The seller makes the claim (don't they all?) of 409-bhp, a number that sounds suspiciously like it was pulled from somebody's ass. Little detail of the motor is given, although a pair of K&N stickers on the firewall do seem incongruous seeing as there appears to be no filters of any kind protecting the big V8. Instead, the engine is topped with a three-butterfly scoop that pokes through a hole in the hood and is covered by an add-on open-faced riser. The rest of the truck is rough to the point where the seller makes the excuse that it has never been buffed out. That, of course, is sort of like apologizing for Mel Gibson by saying that he just needs to sober up.
Inside, the dual T-handle shifters (auto box and transfer case) set the macho to 11, as do a massive steering column-mounted tach and various additional dash-clamped gauges. The driver's throne appears blandly stock, while the passenger seat sports a cool sarape-like cover that looks like it lost whatever battle it was in.
The seller says it has only 45K on the clock, and that he's the only owner it has ever known. He also says it's fast and fun, but of course how could it not be what with that V8 filling it to the gills up front, and in the back a bed that lets you take a dump whenever the mood hits you?
But does the mood strike you to pay $6,000 for this Toyolet? If it does, the seller has handily provided his home address in the ad, proving either that he's incredibly trusting, or that this ad is just a ploy to lure you in so he can crack you up side the head and butcher you like a Christmas calf. He'll then drink your sweet eye juices, eat your testicles, and make bacon from your beer belly. Wait a minute, we were talking about Toyotas, right?
So what do you think, is $6,000 a deal for a chevy-powered Hilux that dumps? Or, is that a price that would make you shit a brick?
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