Sheikh Hamad Bin Hamdan Bin Mohamed Al Nahyan needed a new car. Something to simultaneously broadcast his obscene wealth, play in the sand dunes, and make rolling over poor people easy. Thus was born the Black Spider.


It's part Nissan Patrol, part Zimmer "luxury" custom, and part showy and dubiously capable customized off-roader, but the good Sheikh's Black Widow is definitely all mind-bending. We're struggling with a reason to move the steering axle ahead of the front bumper then engineer the original front wheels to move up and down hydraulically to either have faux spare tires or wall-climbing off-road capability. Why would any human being need a vehicle like this? Why would you then decorate the sides in some kind of wacky rattan applique — and where do you even get off-road tires sporting wide-white side walls?

Here's a scenario where seeing something actually working creates far more questions than answers. Questions like: "How many baby teeth were used in the back seat chandeliers," and "How fine a grit were the elephant tusks ground to in order to mix properly into the paint," "Does it do other party tricks?" and of course "What small country did he buy to store it in?"

(Thanks for the tip ToofaneBatameezi!)