Last fall, Ford launched a website that helps you create custom vinyl-wrap graphics for your 2011 Fiesta. The program has now expanded to include fake camouflage and flames for both the Mustang and F-150. What's next, factory-sponsored mullet wigs?
Here's how this works:
- Pick a car
- Go to FordCustomGraphics.com
- Pause, get up from computer, walk around your house/mobile home/stalker van
- Survey contents of life/living room/smelly mattress in back of stalker van, ignoring drunken babysitter sleeping on floor, half-empty open two-liters of Wal-Mart cola, and stacks of old newspapers
- Ignore rising tide of self-loathing
- Embrace rising tide of self-loathing
- No, wait, that's just 3:00 AM Waffle House coming back up
- False alarm: Hash browns staying down, still hate life
- Briefly contemplate watching Days of Our Lives marathon on TV, opt for three-hour stretch of Mr. Belvedere instead, mood rebounds
- Become entranced by possibility of diamond-plate-look vinyl, forest camo, and black flames on the new F-150 in your driveway
- Oh, wait, there's no F-150 in your driveway, that's just the three-wheeled '98 Cavalier that your cousin Elmore covered in truck bedliner
- Drown disappointment in morning 40-oz. refreshment and stale Pop-Tarts
- Wait, isn't it time for a nap?
(Once ordered, the graphics are installed by your local Ford dealer. They're covered by a three-year/36,000-mile warranty. Yes, you can get giant bubbles. Really. Bubbles.)