Since the very first 24 Hours Of LeMons race, we've heard speculation about the possibility of a LeMons Corvette. You can get cheap beat-to-hell C4s, sure... but can you get one to fit under the 500-buck LeMons budgetary limit? Yes!
First, you need to find your Corvette in a particularly meth-friendly section of the California High Desert. In this case, it's an '85 that had the roof crushed by a falling tree, at which point the owner decided to turn it into a Sawzall Convertible. After that, the car got rear-ended so hard that the bumper was mashed all the way to the rear axle. 300 bucks! Did we mention that the engine had a cracked piston?
That sounds like a lot of money for such a horrible car, but when your previous LeMons machine was the undeniably godawful Chevy-powered Fluggaenkoechiebolsen Volvo 940... well, you make allowances. So after scoring this Vette for three Benjamins, our heroes proceeded to sell off the headlights and other components, which got them enough money for a low-end engine rebuild kit. The transmission doesn't sound so good, the Tuned Port Injection system has some issues, and the rear suspension... well, let's just say that it probably wasn't this loose back when Reagan was president. Who cares? LeMons Corvette!
Naturally, the LeMons Supreme Court approached this car with the assumption that we'd be handing out some heavy-duty BS Penalty laps, but we walked away from it in horror, convinced that we'd just examined one of the worst LeMons cars in history. Zero BS laps for the Corvette! We just hope it runs for more than a couple of hours; it should be somewhat quick during its brief time in the spotlight. We'll learn soon enough, as the LeMons Phoenix race starts at 10:00 AM Saturday morning.