Special Edition: Chrysler 300 S6

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted trim, special badging, new wheels, unique seats

Why it's sad: It's a tarted up 300 with the 3.5-liter V6, a car that was cool when it came out, and now hangs around like an old gangster who coulda been somebody, if the cycle life wasn't so long..

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Special Edition: Chrysler 300 S8

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted trim, special badging, new wheels, unique seats

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Why it's sad: All that stuff we said about the S6 version, but with the 5.7-liter HEMI V8.

Special Edition: Dodge Nitro Detonator

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted grille, 20" wheels and poserific hashmarks on the fender

Why it's sad: Hashmarks on the fender where initially used to distinguish race cars otherwise painted with the same color scheme. Now they live on the fender of a chunky CUV with a 260 HP V6.

Special Edition: Jeep Wrangler Islander

Brand of pig lipstick: Chunky wheels, bright colors, hood sticker, embroidered seats

Why it's sad: Since nostalgia is the laziest way to market a product, why not borrow from Jeeps deep heritage and re-introduce the Islander edition, which was offered back in the 1980s when Tiki themes where first making an ironic comeback and Chrysler had an equally stale product lineup.

Special Edition: Jeep Liberty Renegade

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted wheels, fender flairs, embroidered seats.

Why it's sad: The original Renegade was a Wrangler, a cool one at that, not a rebadged Dodge with a minivan engine and a few extra doodads.

Special Edition: Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Mountain Edition

Brand of pig lipstick: Hood sticker, painted grille, chunky tires

Why it's sad: Everything, that's what's sad.

Special Edition: Chrysler PT Cruiser Couture Edition

Brand of pig lipstick: Two-tone paint, 16-inch wheels, interior paint

Why it's sad: That the PT Cruiser is still around and Chrysler is still trying to push it as a stylish car. It's not. It's old, it's coarse, it's cheaply built and only bought by people who don't even know how to spell the word "couture."

Special Edition: Chrysler Town & Country Walter P. Chrysler Signature Series

Brand of pig lipstick: New paint, unique wheels, custom badging

Why it's sad: Trotting out the name of the company founder, one of the most successful executives in automotive history, and putting it on a rather bland minivan for no apparent reason.