Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions


Special Edition: Chrysler 300 S6

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted trim, special badging, new wheels, unique seats

Why it's sad: It's a tarted up 300 with the 3.5-liter V6, a car that was cool when it came out, and now hangs around like an old gangster who coulda been somebody, if the cycle life wasn't so long..

Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions

Special Edition: Chrysler 300 S8

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted trim, special badging, new wheels, unique seats

Why it's sad: All that stuff we said about the S6 version, but with the 5.7-liter HEMI V8.

Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions

Special Edition: Dodge Nitro Detonator

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted grille, 20" wheels and poserific hashmarks on the fender

Why it's sad: Hashmarks on the fender where initially used to distinguish race cars otherwise painted with the same color scheme. Now they live on the fender of a chunky CUV with a 260 HP V6.

Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions

Special Edition: Jeep Wrangler Islander

Brand of pig lipstick: Chunky wheels, bright colors, hood sticker, embroidered seats

Why it's sad: Since nostalgia is the laziest way to market a product, why not borrow from Jeeps deep heritage and re-introduce the Islander edition, which was offered back in the 1980s when Tiki themes where first making an ironic comeback and Chrysler had an equally stale product lineup.

Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions

Special Edition: Jeep Liberty Renegade

Brand of pig lipstick: Painted wheels, fender flairs, embroidered seats.

Why it's sad: The original Renegade was a Wrangler, a cool one at that, not a rebadged Dodge with a minivan engine and a few extra doodads.

Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions

Special Edition: Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Mountain Edition

Brand of pig lipstick: Hood sticker, painted grille, chunky tires

Why it's sad: Everything, that's what's sad.

Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions

Special Edition: Chrysler PT Cruiser Couture Edition

Brand of pig lipstick: Two-tone paint, 16-inch wheels, interior paint

Why it's sad: That the PT Cruiser is still around and Chrysler is still trying to push it as a stylish car. It's not. It's old, it's coarse, it's cheaply built and only bought by people who don't even know how to spell the word "couture."

Sad, Sad Chrysler Special Editions

Special Edition: Chrysler Town & Country Walter P. Chrysler Signature Series

Brand of pig lipstick: New paint, unique wheels, custom badging

Why it's sad: Trotting out the name of the company founder, one of the most successful executives in automotive history, and putting it on a rather bland minivan for no apparent reason.