How To Uncute Teddy Bear Wheels

Ronal’s teddy bear wheels are a signpost on our culture’s march towards all-encompassing cuteness. But there’s a simple way to turn them into ursine wheels of doom.

All it takes is a liberal application of black paint with two strategic spots of red:

How To Uncute Teddy Bear WheelsS

The one remaining snag on the way to pure teddy evil is the wheel lock masquerading as a belly button. The blackest of paints will be inadequate to make that detail even slightly serious. You’d probably have to install a gun in there to complete the transformation. An Oerlikon autocannon should do the job.

Photo Credit: BustedFoxWaGeN, Jackson Allen