Having been invented three times over three decades, the mid-mounted engine is not an engineering innovation that feels particularly natural to the human eye. Here’s our guide to avoiding faux pas involving mid-engined cars.

Exhibit A

The problem:

We see a young lady trying to place a bag of groceries inside her Audi R8 V10. She is prevented from doing so by the R8’s 5-liter V10 engine which gives off enough heat to prepare an instant meal from the chicken and the produce in her shopping bag. This is undesirable as her dinner guests are yet to arrive and she would hate to serve them a less than fresh meal.

The Jalopnik solution:

Invite dinner guests to parking lot. Produce copy of Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine! and find a recipe. Prepare chicken on intake manifold of engine. Serve piping hot. Initiate highbrow petrolhead conversation by pointing out Bernd Rosemeyer’s 1936 Auto Union Type C racing car on shopping bag.

Exhibit B

The problem:

We see a bike rack installed above the 5-liter V10 engine of a Lamborghini Gallardo, with a bicycle clipped to it. Even if this is a high-end racing bike made of titanium with a melting point of 3034 °F, the immense heat from the engine will cause it to melt and splatter said engine with molten metal. This is undesirable, as a Lamborghini with a melted engine will quickly come to a complete stop.

The Jalopnik solution:

Take off bike rack. Take off bike. Get on bike. Find skilled driver. Hold on to passenger side rearview mirror. Acquire balls of titanium. Enjoy 200 MPH ride on skinny bike tires.



Model: Natalie Polgar. Photo Credit: Balázs Fenyő (Audi), Milano Fixed (Lamborghini)