You Say You Want To Know That '63 Chrysler's History?

Sometimes a classic car's for-sale listing includes a bunch of boring stuff about the regular maintenance performed by its original owner… and sometimes you get the tale of a gelatin-encased carburetor named after a cat.

This 1963 Chrysler 300 ad (go here if the ad disappears) belongs in the second category. It appears to be referring to the $595 Chrysler in this ad, and the differing writing style makes us suspect that the authors may not know each other. No matter, because we think this tirade deserves a Best Of Craigslist vote regardless of author. And, hey, note the LeMons-grade asking price for that big-block Mopar- you could never in a million years totally win the race with that beast. Thanks to Oskimba for the tip!

I believe the car originally belonged to my Aunt Betsy, who was born in Wisconsin in 1931, and later migrated to California in 1954, while engaged to my Uncle Talbert.
She had a Tabby cat named Blinky, who died in the spring of 57. Blinky had 6 kittens in 1955, all of whom she regrettably gave away at a fair in Modesto. The cats where never seen or heard from again. Betsy left Modesto in 1963, approximately at the time she allegedly helped purchase the car for her lover, Benson, whom Talbert was unaware of. Unbeknownst to Betsy at that period, a second Tabby cat, also named Blinky, gave birth to 8 kittens, who had made a home in the Chrysler, while it was parked in the garage of Bensons home, hidden from Uncle Talbert. Talbert took ill in 1966, quite suspiciously I was informed, and he later expired from the odd illness in 1967. Meanwhile the Chryslers interior had been moderately tattered from the matured cats, 3 of whom had made the car their permanent home.
Betsy and Benson seperated ways in 1971, and Betsy took the Chrysler, and the two remaining cats, Philby and Jessup, with her to Berkeley. It was then that Betsy unfortunately became addicted to pain-killers, and the Chrysler
was parked in a storage facility in Oakland for several years. Although Philby loyally stayed with Betsy, Jessup disappeared. Philby passed away in 1984, and Betsy was devastated.
For reasons unknown, Betsy became obsessed with the 2 barrel carburetor of the Chrysler, and took it off the engine, and carried in her purse for the next 12 years. She eerily named the carburetor Jessup, after her beloved missing cat, and she was finally admitted to a rehabilitation center in 1996. The Chrysler was removed from storage in Oakland, and later transported to Talberts sisters home in Richmond. While packing Betsys household items for storage, her
nephew, Melvin, found the beloved carburetor in the refrigerator of Betsys home, and he had the carburetor rebuilt. It had been placed inside a plastic bowl, and submersed in a green gelatin.
Melvin applied for lien-custody of the Chrysler in 1998, and was denied the lien by the Department of Motor Vehicles.
At that point, the distressed nephew abandoned the efforts to claim the Chrysler, and the car remained in the garage in Richmond, until Talberts sister died in 2004. For some odd reason, Talberts sister had willed the Chrysler to the deceased cat, and the car was restored to Betsys ownership once again in 2006, as the ownershp had been declared invalid.
Betsy died in Dec. 2008, and at that time the car was given to Melvin, as he had wished, and Melvin then traded the car to me, in exchange for a 50/unit of 1/2 inch 4 ft by 8 ft cdx exterior grade roof plywood sheathing.

I certainly hope that clears up the confusion.