Insufficiently Festive Festiva Doomed To Crusher By Québécois Quality-Control TeamS

When you're inspecting cars fresh off the line, what do you look for? Well, if you're working at the Van Nuys plant building third-gen Camaros… well, no need to go there, eh?

But if you're building Ford Festivas, you don't need to put in a steel-grate floor in the brake-test area so as to avoid tides of brake fluid ruining your inspectors' steel-toes, as The General was forced to do in Van Nuys. Brakes don't matter! In fact, engine function doesn't even matter. The only thing the Festiva needs to do is be happy! But woe be unto the little Ford that remains as dour as a Camry when its turn comes, because it will never live to become a 24 Hours Of LeMons racer. Thanks to Bubs for the tip!