The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS

For the first time ever, Detroit iron dominated a 24 Hours Of LeMons event, with American-built machinery taking four of the top five positions (if you consider a California-built Corolla to be American-built, that is).

We saw plenty of the usual LeMons suspects at MSR in Houston last weekend, with 10 Mustangs, 6 RX-7s, 6 E30s, 4 CRXs, 4 Neons, and 4 Miatas showing up, but we also had our first-ever Infiniti Q45, a pair of Toyota pickups, an Opel GT, and an MGB-GT (which managed to get around the track startlingly quickly, in between lengthy jail sentences in the Penalty Box). In addition to Mustangs coming in first and second, we saw some other world-turned-topsy-turvy events. How about a LeMons race in which four Saabs enter… and all four are still running at the end? Sure, all the Saabs earned the new-for-Houston punishment for hitting tire walls and/or cones (old tires bolted to the car's roof), but they didn't throw rods or send major suspension components skittering off into the weeds in the first 30 minutes of the race! A four-banger Mustang finished second, a Saturn came in third, an 80s Dodge Daytona managed to contend, and the majority of BMW E30s raced for two solid days without exhibiting the usual maddeningly undiagnosable electrical woes (blown head gaskets and axle failures, certainly, but we didn't see the all-too-common cruel drama of E30 crew members weeping over multimeters and wiring diagrams).

This time I'm going to include each team's best lap time, so y'all can see for yourselves how "fast" does not equal "win" in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. Those of you contemplating horsepower-enhancing cheats would do well to note that the four-cylinder Mustangs performed just as well as their V8 siblings, and you Miata and E30 guys can go ahead and keep thumping your chests about those absurdly quick lap times… but remember, your favorite cars got stomped by a Saturn! Those of you wanting obsessively complete lap info can go here; keep in mind that a few cars may be showing too-low best lap times due to having taken what the corner workers dubbed the "Neon Bypass" (in honor of the oft-penalized Blueballs Neons) off-road shortcut around the chicanes.

Before you go check out our 95 Texas racin' machines, I've got a video that true 24 Hours Of LeMons fans ought to find quite entertaining. First, we've got one of the hairiest Integra-jumps-BMW-wheel bits ever caught on film, courtesy of the Unintended Acceleration Audi's in-car camera:


Zerin Dube, editor of Speed:Sport:Life volunteered for judging duties at the race, and he also did a good job covering the goings-on at his site. You'll enjoy the Penalty Box Punishments and the rest of the SSL race coverage.

Thanks to Zerin Dube, TheEastBayKid, Myke Toman, and a whole bunch of race team members for many of the photographs below.
When you're done here, be sure to check out the participants of previous LeMons events, including Arse Freeze '08, Texas '08, Toledo '08, New England '08, South '08, San Francisco '08, Arse Freeze '07, and San Francisco '07. I'll put up some more LeMons stuff when I get back to my normal weekend schedule, too. And now, the racers of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama:

The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS

1. Formula M For Mullet, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:18.320



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
2. Shake & Bake 4 Cyl Mustang, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:19.426



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
3. The Cajun Coonasses, Saturn SL2

Best lap: 1:19.061



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
4. The SCHWING Team, Toyota Corolla FX16

Best lap: 1.19.274



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
5. 1.21 Jigawatts, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:20.402



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
6. Polizei Und Banditen, BMW 325e

Best lap: 1:16.843



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
7. MusTank Racing Inc, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:17.081



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
8. Detroit Bailout, Toyota Supra

Best lap: 1:24.508



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
9. Z-Wrecks, Datsun 280ZX

Best lap: 1:17.597



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
10. Low Budget Racing, Datsun 280ZX

Best lap: 1:21.403



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
11. A-Team, Dodge Daytona

Best lap: 1:27.085



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
12. Rear Impact, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:19.115



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
13. Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator, Nissan 200SX

Best lap: 1:23.493



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
14. Bio-Hazard Racing, Ford Ranger

Best lap: 1:21.335



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
15. Lemoncello Racing, Honda Civic

Best lap: 1:22.127



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
16. Race Hard Race Uglier, BMW 325i

Best lap: 1:19.467



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
17. Longhorn Raceworks, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:16.870



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
18. The Smoking Eunuchs, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:22.838



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
19. Never Give Up, BMW 1600

Best lap: 1:17.600



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
20. Stop, Drop, And Rickroll, BMW 325e

Best lap: 1:19.962



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
21. State Pooper, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:20.778



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
22. Half-Assed Safety Fast, Infiniti Q45

Best lap: 1:20.353



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
23. Medically Challenged, Mitsubishi 3000GT

Best lap: 1:22.250



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
24. Rum Runners, Chevrolet Malibu

Best lap: 1:26.272



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
25. TnT Racing, Volkswagen Golf

Best lap: 1:19.193



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
26. "Z" Team, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:18.956



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
27. Tetanus Neon, Dodge Neon

Best lap: 1:21.070



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
28. TSOL, Saab 9000 Turbo

Best lap: 1:21.428



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
29. Blueballs Racing (Righty), Dodge Neon

Best lap: 1:19.670



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
30. Warthog Racing, BMW 325e

Best lap: 1:20.383



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
31. White Lightning Racing, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:19.971



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
32. Apex Vinyl TX Racing, Toyota Truck

Best lap: 1:27.377



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
33. Smilin' Bob Racing, Honda Accord



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
34. Unintended Acceleration, Audi 90 Quattro

Best lap: 1:16.274



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
35. Pwnage Racing, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:20.690



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
36. Sheila And The Sheikhs, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:17.657



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
37. Saabs Gone Wild, Saab 900

Best lap: 1:17.737



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
38. Doggie Style Racing, Toyota MR2

Best lap: 1:19.290



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
39. Scuderia Suino Rosso, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:14.182



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
40. Delinquent Road Hazards, Acura Integra

Best lap: 1:14.490



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
41. Boehm Racing, Saab 900

Best lap: 1:24.799



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
42. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO

Best lap: 1:19.013



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
43. Cupcake Racing, Ford Thunderbird

Best lap: 1:26.580



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
44. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO

Best lap: 1:17.388



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
45. Evel Kweasels, Toyota Corolla

Best lap: 1:19.033



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
46. Norwegian Slaabs Part Två, Saab 900

Best lap: 1:25.900



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
47. Rebel Z, Datsun 280ZX

Best lap: 1:20.019



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
48. Team Supraleggara, Toyota Supra

Best lap: 1:21.582



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
49. Gold Member, Toyota MR2

Best lap: 1:17.750



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
50. Griswold Racing, Ford Pinto Wagon

Best lap: 1:30.032



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
51. Witchdoctor/Bikini Racer, Chevrolet Camaro

Best lap: 1:19.661



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
52. Junk Punch Racing, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:27.506



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
53. Out Of Town Racing, BMW 325eS

Best lap: 1:19.314



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
54. Charlie's Ugly Angels, Ford Mustang II

Best lap: 1:20.219



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
55. Punisher Racing, Chevrolet Caprice

Best lap: 1:17.766



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
56. Team Screwdriver, Pontiac Bonnelinabird

Best lap: 1:22.215



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
57. Flying Asses, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:19.828



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
58. Blueballs Racing (Lefty), Plymouth Neon

Best lap: 1:21.100



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
59. Four Jerks And A Squirt, Chevrolet/Pontiac Camfireobird

Best lap: 1:22.090



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
60. Guild Of Calamitous Intent, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:20.715



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
61. Rotorheads, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:16.657



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
62. Los Diablos Racing Team, Chevrolet Camaro

Best lap: 1:23.438



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
63. 2nd Gear Racing, Pontiac Grand Prix

Best lap: 1:21:323



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
64. Guano By Desmodus Rufus, Mazda RX-7 GSL-SE

Best lap: 1:22.457



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
65. Stiff Competition, Mazda RX-7

Best lap: 1:18.325



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
66. Frogmasters, MGB-GT

Best lap: 1:21.343



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
67. Los Cucaroches, Ford Mustang

Best lap: 1:20.409



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
68. Red Pig Racing, Mazda Miata

Best lap: 1:15.036



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
69. Team Fat Cat Racing, Jaguar XJ6

Best lap: 1:24.378



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
70. Enzo Dysfunction, BMW 318i

Best lap: 1:18.095



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
71. Dukes Of Hiroshima, Nissan Sentra SE-R

Best lap: 1:20.245



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
72. Fairlady Action Rspn Team, Datsun 240Z

Best lap: 1:18.313



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
73. Flying Hoondee, Merkur XR4Ti

Best lap: 1:21.392



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
74. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort

Best lap: 1:29.523



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
75. Toxic Asset Racing Program, Toyota MR2

Best lap: 1:21.035



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
76. Dyin Tryin, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:23.467



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
77. Opular Dependence Team Israel, Opel GT

Best lap: 1:21.448



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
78. Team Mazdarati Corse GTA, Mazda Protegé

Best lap: 1:22.456



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
79. Lost In The Dark, Mazda MX-6

Best lap: 1:26.399



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
80. eLemonators, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:24.492



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
81. Team Lemonade, Toyota Celica

Best lap: 1:23.608



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
82. Geargrinders, Chevrolet Monte Carlo

Best lap: 1:28.954



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
83. Margarita, Dodge Neon

Best lap: 1:20.456



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
84. Prison Break Racing, BMW 325

Best lap: 1:32.825



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
85. Team Blue Goose, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:23.052



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
86. Bangers And Mash, Honda Prelude

Best lap: 1:34.356



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
87. Race Hard Race Ugly Soot, BMW 325i

Best lap: 1:20.153



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
88. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra

Best lap: 1:23.363



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
89. Project Yellow Racing, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:27.579



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
90. Zebra Razing, Toyota Truck

Best lap: 1:28.549



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
91. Alfa Dogs, Alfa Romeo Milano

Best lap: 1:24.638



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
92. Team Kachow, Eagle Talon

Best lap: 1:28.617



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
93. Beermer, BMW 2002

Best lap: 1:39.809



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
94. Def Leppard Still Sucks, Ford Mustang



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS
95. Viva Las Vegas, Honda CRX

Best lap: 1:22.139



The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS

The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS

The Top 95 Lemons Of The Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMonsS

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