Welcome to Project Car Hell, where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! You want an insane project limo, right? Sure you do!
Last time, we had a momentous upset in the Choose Your Eternity poll, with a Detroit car somehow managing to beat two French cars! Granted, no Citroëns were involved, but we're sure there's some weeping and gnashing of teeth in Paris right now. Not like France loses its PCH SuperAwesomeMegaPower rank, of course, but for now that turbocharged Falcon has brought a bit of the pride back to the reeling Motor City (and we're going to have a Detroit-on-Detroit matchup in honor of that accomplishment). Today we're returning to a level of the underworld we haven't visited since the Octo-Door '57 Chrysler took on the Stretch Ferrari 400: Hell Limousines!
Chrysler never built a Hexa-Door Dodge Dart station wagon- which we think was a terrible miscalculation- but when the Vatican demands such a machine for nunly transportation, American free enterprise leaps into action! Such is the story behind this 1962 Dodge Dart stretch wagon, and maybe it's even true! The seller states right off that it's "in poor shape," and that's definitely the truth, but who cares? In addition to his distressing honesty, he seller also violates all the eBay traditions concerning grammar, spelling, and capitalization, but we'll overlook that because this thing is a Hexa-Door Dart Wagon Alleged Nunmobile! How could you pass it up? There's rust. It's been sitting since 1979, most of that time outdoors in rural Kentucky. The engine is a poly 318, which is sort of like the LA block 318, only way heavier. The good news is that you'll be able to find every possible mechanical component without half trying, for cheap, and along the way you'll discover that you might as well upgrade to a 500-horsepower 360. You might not want to invest too much time and money into the running gear, however, until you've vanquished the Rust Monster, and that might take
decades some time, plus a few million Hail Marys. Thanks to ArmyOfChuckness for the tip!
A Pope-approved 6-door Dart wagon limo from Butcher Holler would be quite a daily driver, sure, but what if you must kick up the mud whilst blasting beer cans out the window with a shotgun? For that, you want a genuine, built-by-crazy-Minnesotans 4x4 Monster Cadillac Limo. Now, at this point you might be saying to yourself (in your best Upper Midwest accent) "OK, but where could I find such a car, then?" Hey, this is Project Car Hell, where eternal torment is conveniently located, and we've managed to find this 1981 Cadillac stretch limo mud truck (go here if the ad disappears), built on a Suburban chassis. You get your 36" swampers, you betcha, and your hoon-proof 350 engine, and it even runs and drives! The seller admits that it "Needs TLC," which you're free to interpret as you choose (we choose to believe it means you'll be ready to take on the gnarliest swamps of the Amazon Delta with little more than a tuneup). The seller wants $3,000, but if there ever was a price that screamed "negotiable," this is it!