The Glitz, The Glamor: The People Of The Gumball 3000!S

All manner of celebrities were there with me in the Green Zone at the Gumball 3000 opening ceremonies yesterday, but I live in a fortified survivalist compound in which the corrupting influence of television is prohibited and thus could identify just two famous individuals: ex-mayor Willie Brown and ex-star David Hasselhoff. Though Mr. Brown was quite gracious, most of the other Gumball players edged away from your correspondent like they'd just seen me rattling a can of gray primer and drawing a bead on their godzillion-dollar rides. The "fire-eating stripteasers" associated with the Donkey Frog Riviera had genuine integrity- the Ratt '84 tour shirts saw to that- but most of the other costumes seemed forced.