GM "Breaks Up" With Big Oil; Booty Calls, Beatings Likely To Continue

McCann-Erickson, the agency that brought you such Buick tag lines as "Dream Up" and "Beyond Precision," has decided GM needs to put its foot down and end its self-abusive, codependent-yet-carnally-thrilling relationship with Big Oil. A new campaign will debut on June 22, when the General will present a "Dear Oil" letter, accentuating the magic the two industries once had together but acknowledging things haven't been the same since Oil got drunk and hooked up with China. Reports hint GM Chairman and CEO Rick Wagoner hopes the automaker can maintain an ongoing "friends with benefits" arrangement, at least with BP.

GM has been greenwashing boosting ad spending for its more fuel-efficient models since the middle of last year. But Katherine Benoit, GM corporate marketing director, claimed that although the company may have been cheating with E85, they swear they'd stopped dating, citing as proof the suspension of ads for its Flex-Fuel models — remember Live Green, Go Yellow? — partly because the fuel isn't widely available, and partly because recent reports are blaming corn-based ethanol for elements of a burgeoning global food crisis. And frankly, GM just doesn't need that kind of stress right now.

Unconfirmed reports state that a consortium of hydrogen fuel cell labs always thought GM was hot, but that they'll wait a few months to see if GM is really through with Big Oil before making a move. They don't want to end up getting the shaft like Electric did back in the '90s. [Automotive News (Sub. Req.)]