We got waaaay more entries than we expected in yesterday's Create The Jalopnik Transmission Name contest, so after slogging through all the suggestions (and discarding those with Astroglide references, you pervs- this is serious business here!) we've come up with thirteen finalists instead of the planned "few." The winner gets 25 Little Tree air fresheners and the glory of seeing his or her creation proudly emblazoned on each and every transmission to come off the planned Jalopnik-operated Wall Of Death Transmission Factory assembly line. Make the jump and make your vote count!
Borg-Warner Dual-clutch Complexitron (with Hydromaniacal Dynashift and one-touch Premature Paradigm Shift-o-matic) - Ash78
Ooze-O-Matic 404. It would come with a little lcd display for the "Gear Not Found" errors. - Mike the Dog Misses POLAЯ, Too!
Ultra-Syncro-Electro-Lightning-Efficient-Slick-Shift, also known as USELESS - mwood10
Gnashville Knucklebuster - Beercheck (who also thought up quite a few additional good names, but only one per finalist... according to the rules I'm making up as I go along)
The BCK, "Bruce Clutch Kicker", on the column, 4 speed, kicks your ass at every gear change - Franzouse
The iShift.. which coincidently you have no means of controlling other than a single button which engages it, and a shuttle which selects either forward or reverse - WheatKing
Pimpmatic Smoothglide Turbo 600. A 6-speed automatic for luxury cars with an attitude. Yes, it's from Detroit. - Deckard97
Manu-muscu-mascu-mover - for installation in half-restored muscle cars of those who only wish to chirp tires for the babes. - MagicalTrevor (who also provided "Muscu-mascu-matic-mover - for the same as above, but for those without the desire to move the left foot")
The Sweet Clutch-Dropping-Christ McShifterton - BreakMyWindow
Narcoti-flite - Feel like you're soaring above the clouds, even after the heroin wears off! - ranger88
Grind-n-Groan Synchro-b-Gone - POLAR Discontinuuity
Problematic - Scotte
Cryoslide Liquimotion Hydraslushmatic with Arcticgrip Overdrive! - SakinaCabiri