Gorilla-Masked Cretins Steal Money, Pants, Make Getaway in Aztek

Does the Pontiac Aztek drive one to madness, or does madness drive one to a Pontiac Aztek? This is the question one must consider when reading the story of Adrian Cornelius Alexander and Antwan Haynes. The two Tennessee men went on crime spree last week enabled by a Pontiac Aztek and a couple of gorilla masks. After a foiled robbery in a Wal-Mart parking lot, the masked Alexander made another attempt, and money wasn't the only thing on this fools mind.

While demanding cash from two men in a later robbery, the gorilla doppelganger went the extra mile and required one fellow to surrender his black cargo pants. Why? Why not? How dare you ask questions of an Aztek-driving desperado — don't you realize they've got bigger problems than mere muggings? The mini crime spree was put to a halt after their incredibly conspicuous maroon Pontiac Aztek was spotted by a trooper, who pulled 'em over, found the gorilla mask, money and the pants in the car. (Hat tip to smokeydog!) [The Tennessean]