Jalopnik
Cruising down the highway, a noise which sounded like mischievous squirrels nesting under the car caught my ear. I kept driving. Some minutes later, passing motorists began gawking, waving, honking, and pointing at my car. "Do you see anything?" I asked my brother who was riding shotgun. Looking over his shoulder, he casually replied, "yeah there's sparks" and went back to his cell phone conversation. I knew exactly what had happened. Some part of the 25-year-old exhaust system had decided it was time to give up the ghost.
Now, you'd think that a keen ear would have heard a significant increase in the exhaust note's volume before noticing the faint scrapping sound of rusty German metal on American pavement, but the piping was apparently so rusty that it had been significantly loud for as long as I'd known it. So, after pulling over onto the shoulder, I figured it wouldn't be very difficult to just complete the job right then and there. Though only the tailpipe was resting on the ground, the entire muffler felt pretty loose. Rather than hassle with attempting to unbolt this or that, I simply got down in the dirt and started kicking the dang thing. That loosened it up nicely, but it still wasn't off completely. So, lacking any gloves, I grabbed a pair of socks from my bag and slid 'em over my hands so I wouldn't burn myself. Twisting the muffler back and forth, it soon broke off like a tab from a Coke can. Victory. I hoisted it into the air then slammed it on the pavement. That thing ain't gonna muffle any sweet inline-six gurgle-tones no more.
Comments
Mufflers are for your neck!
Stick it to da MAN!
As long as it's not an annoyance or illegal, leave it as it is for now.
The exhaust rusted out on my old truck, so I drove around with it tied up to the frame until it was due for emissions testing. It was a little louder, and the rear window fogged up when the truck was stopped sometimes, but other than that it was pretty ok.
do you paint all your mufflers red?
The first shot suggests the Grim Reaper has come for your car (or its occupants).
Sorry, if you're going to drive a surviving yuppie-mobile, you can't go the cheap route in fixing it. I'd go with a nice, understated aftermarket system.
Depending on where you are, you might want to go with stainless steel. To prevent a repeat of this event.
@camp6ell: I didn't paint it. It was like that. Some cocaine-induced '80s logic no doubt.
Mark- it looks like your block and tackle are hanging out of your pants in the main silhouette pic.
Coming from someone who's family consists of 80's and 90's BMW's, I recommend you look towards an aftermarket/custom exhaust. You'd have to pay a crapload at the dealer for an OE replacement. Check Ireland Engineering, the link to the exhaust is below. Just have a shop fabricate the rest.
[store.nexternal.com]
I can just about guarandamntee that once you see the price for OEM, you'll be paying a visit to Schucks for 'something that will fit, and oh yeah, I'm gonna need some clamps too'.
Signed,
former-owner-of-7series-of-that-vintage
Autozone.com lists the OEM style muffler for $437.99, they also show the Cherry Bomb as a univerisal fit for $19.99.
Cherry Bombs!!!
What would Maddie Hayes do?
If the original lasted this long, I'd say the OEM part might just be worth it.
Just don't spend less on your muffler than you did on your sneakers.
@hkancyr: That's assuming I won't be bored of the car in 6 months... or 6 weeks... or days...
@Al Navarro: $20 from the outlet mall?
Mark..
check out [www.bimmerparts.com] - Zygmunt Motors.
they helped me out when restoring my 1976 633CSI Back to the Future part 2 car.
Lash the old broken one back one without reattaching it. Then when its time for emissions. Claim that its ULEV and you have been doing some modifications to help old mother earth.
See if you can get them to pass it with zero emissions
Zygmunt is definitely a great source, I've used them several times in the past.
Go "OE+" -- whatever aftermarket option is close to stock, but maybe a little better and cheaper.
@P161911: Just to clarify, the AutoZone definition of universal fit means a muffler and oh yeah, exhaust adapters are over there...good luck finding two that will match the diameter of the remaining exhaust pipe to the muffler.
That being said, I voted for Cherry Bombs too.
stock bmw bosal mufflers actually sound pretty good. you can get good deals on them at places like fap99.com and bmaparts.com
the e24 is a classy automobile and deserves a quieter exhaust.
@Mark Arnold: Dibs.
@P161911:Dammit, you beat me to it.
@Mad_Science: What P161911 said.
@fodder650: A friend of mine once had an 85 Town Car with dual exhaust. The MD inspection people were astonished at how low it's emissions were, because they only looked at one tailpipe. He didn't stop them, needless to say.
@Skydiver: If I remember Mark Arnold's profile correctly, his cars don't survive to see new owners.
@Mark Arnold:
In NYC, they put sneakers like in a glass cabinet and charge you $120. No, seriously.
From that Zygmunt or Zagnut or whatever place:
H5000-50639
Muffler
Rear Muffler Only
Ansa
IN STOCK
$1019.20 list price
$178.68 Zagnut price
LINKY - [catalog.worldpac.com]
And that, friends, it why real men wear only 100% cotton (or, seasonally, wool) socks.
@TheTooth: That's not true. I sell most of my cars to new owners as project cars or parts cars.
seriously though, only cheap bastards would skimp on auto parts for a nice machine like this. and only a tool would put cherry bombs on a beemer. get a decent (not necessarily expensive) aftermarket.
I voted no muffler but VA will pull you for no/loud muffler. I lost one off my 66 Plymouth and I eased through tiny speed trap village on my way home--tried to coast as much as possible, because when I hit the gas it burbled like a giant Evanrude and heads turned. I've noticed Camrys (Camries?) seem to have the mufflers stuck on--barely--like an afterthought, they're more visible than truck nuts.
Remote-mount turbocharger.
I once borrowed my friend's '86 Ford Econoline conversion van for a few weeks. It had the custom "Pederast" package that included extensive rust and blue poly tarp duct taped over a broken window. I was backing it up out of a parking space and it just stopped. It turns out I was running over my own exhaust pipe. Good times. I didn't get much attention from the ladies in that van, but law enforcement was always finding an excuse to stop for a chat.
I voted Cherry Bombs. The Porcubimmer sounded amazing with the $25 cherry bomb I welded on.
Hey Mark, my whistles go WOO
Your whistles should go WOO WOO
A decent aftermarket system will probably cost less than an OEM replacement.
@DeadFlorist:
COTD nom for sharing of self-deprecating anecdote.
WHISTLERS!!!!!!!!!!
My wife's muffler rusted through on a trip cross country. It was super duper loud. We just got out the earplugs and turned up the stereo.
I vote Cherry Bomb 'cause that's what I got on my sweet 85 Toy PU
I vote cherry bombs because I guess I am a tool. Seriously though, how much did you pay for it? If it was less than 5k just think cost ratios.
@DeadFlorist: That's all some sort of allegory, right?
Didn't know what you meant by cherry bomb, now I do:
+ Watch video
We are all reading about some guys rusted muffler falling off a 25 year old car.
We all need to get a life.
@dolo54: "Is there a Ralph's near here?"
@franzouse: Odd music selections all the way through. I've had a Flowmaster and thought it sounded great on the outside but was too loud on the inside for long highway trips. It was relatively cheap though.
@EdFinnerty: lol, sorry sir that is our most modestly priced receptacle.
@dfwguy: You think that's bad? Consider that we're also arguing over the best way to replace it. LOL
I didn't vote, since I'm somewhere between "who needs mufflers?" and "...aftermarket".
How would it sound if you replaced it with proper straights? Probably better than the 'bombs.
Otherwise, it depends on the car's purpose. Is it your pride and joy? If so, don't skimp on the exhaust.
...or is it a beater that happens to be a formerly glorious Bimmer? Screw it! Cherry bomb "Turbo II".
@dfwguy: COTD, Sad-but-true edition.
OEM, specifically the pair that are sitting unused in my garage at the moment. You know how to find me.
@joshman: that video's music is way weird, and I imagine that flow master thingy must get tiresome after 5 minutes...
Since the Bimmer is classy, I vote Fancy-Schmancy Aftermarket Exhaust. You should be able to get something that just gives a nice burble at idle or part throttle, but barks nicely at WOT.
Or if you want to go the opposite route, just install some 3" straight pipes with injectors and spark plugs in the tailpipes, so that the car can fart flames. Although to complete the look I'd recommend some black paint, steel wheels, and a death's head shift knob.
Take it to the local muffler shop and have it redone. Use a low restriction muffler, whichever one they sell and stock, bent-on-scene tailpipes. Might cost $250. A 25 year old car doesn't need the fancy-schmancy, big name, hi-po system.
Duct tape? In any case I'd say fix it. I know a guy who ran his bimmer w/o mufler and shot flames which melter his rear diffuser.
Oh sweet car btw.