Jalopnik
In another setback to French dreams of displaying the All-Time Eternal Project Car Damnation MegaTrophy (which turns into a pile of red powder within a few weeks) at the top of the Eiffel Tower, the hybridized British Leyland machine obliterated the Peugeot diesel in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll. The endless battle between PCH Superpowers Britain, France, and Italy will hold a cease-fire today, as we're so inspired by the beauty and coke-dealer-style original price tag of this morning's PCH car that we have no choice but to fill your garage with the sulfurous fumes of two gorgeous- yet maddeningly complex- Bavarian machines today.
Back in 1967, many of those hankering for a German performance car usually went for the Porsche 911 (priced at about $5,900) or maybe the Mercedes-Benz 250SL ($6,500). But what about the BMW 2000C, which could be purchased for a mere $5,000 and offered handling and style galore? Not many chose the BMW, which means they're quite difficult to find these days. Think you need to settle for a ho-hum 2002 for your vintage BMW project, with its easy-to-find parts and vast network of enthusiasts making your character-building Hell Project more of a laziness-inducing Mildly Challenging Project? Nein! We've managed to find this 1967 2000C (go here if the ad disappears) for you, and the price is a very reasonable $1,500! There's a big problem you'll need to solve right off the bat with this one- it's an automatic transmission-equipped car- but it "runs good." And that's all the seller sees fit to share with the world. There might be rust. There might be missing parts. The interior could be home to a boiling hive of Botswanan Urethra-Seeking Fire Millipedes. Who can say? Just imagine yourself behind the wheel of this baby after you've ditched the slushbox for a 5-speed and squeezed every last rampagin' Bavarian pony out of the engine!
Those old BMWs are cool, but they just weren't expensive enough when new. With great expense comes great complexity, and you got both in spades with the BMW E24 6-series cars. Malaise be damned, even the 70s 6-series cars were big and fast, and they looked mean. Some folks are scared off by them today, what with their rep for expensive repairs and hard-to-find parts, but we know you're willing to march right into the flames and claim your new car: this '84 BMW 633CSi (go here if the ad disappears). We hardly dare mention the price, since it must be a typo. Really, a car that sold new for the equivalent of 84 grand in 2008 dollars can't possibly be selling now for just... $800! And look at it- not in bad shape at all (well, at least the parts that you can see in the photos). Unlike the 2000C, this one comes with a manual transmission, but it's sort of on the broken side. The seller also claims it needs a fuel pump ("needs fuel pump" is often Car Seller-ese for "something maybe involving the fuel system isn't working right"). There's a certain lack of clarity surrounding its running-versus-nonrunning status, with the seller mixing past and present tense in the not-so-enlightening statement: "Yes it runs,and ran perfect." So, bad transmission, fuel system woes, "very little" rust, runs or maybe ran... there's so much to like about this car, and what a price! You should be able to get it back to showroom condition in, what, a couple of weeks? Sure!
Comments
1984 BMW 633CSi all the way.
I like how the seller states that it isn't running in the first few words, then later says that it's running... or at least that it ran at some point. Isn't that true for just about any car ever sold? LOL
Hmmm. Even if the fuel pump is all it needs, that probably doubles the purchase price right there. And then there are the TRX wheels...
The 2000C because has no "i"
The 633 is infinitely more hellish. More complex, more expensive parts to break, and at the end of the day what have you got? A used BMW, just like the one that Bruce Willis used to drive.
At least with the 2000C, you have a rare car that everyone will recognize as something unique.
A 3.0 CSL would be the choise for BMW coupes
I'll take the 633 but 365 million miles is a long way to tow a car. I hope I don't have to get the transmission from Mars.
A used BMW, just like the one that Bruce Willis used to drive.
Cybill Shepherd, actually. Bruce Willis just borrowed it sometimes.
633 FTW.
The 2000C ad is almost a haiku. Do craigslist ads charge by the letter?
The 2000C baby! All the parts of a 2002, but without the light weight and great handling.
I found one of these in Phoenix for a grand years ago that actually ran, and I'm kicking myself for not buying it.
The 2000C is a beautiful car.
I've found that any vehicle I've never seen an example of in person gets bonus points for hell.
Besides, there is probably nothing like driving a BMW and having to explain to people what it is.
To drift off topic, I need a BMW Bavaria.
800$!? I let out a sigh of relief when I saw it was in the opposite corner of the country (...that I live next too).
Fuel systems are easy, I could fix that. And the transmission. How hard could that be? How far is Florida, anyway? I've always (read: never) wanted to see the other side of the rockies.
Damnit!
Remember, the one that finishes second will be put down immediately following the competition.
Man, think of the sports that could improve.
@BlackIce_GTS: Florida? Says here it's on Jupiter.
The 633 will have relatively easy parts location and can be diagnosed/repaired by any competent BMW dealership in the country.
The 2000, on the other hand, is at least partially made out of unobtainium and will languis, unloved, at the back of the lot when BMW techs are looking for something to do.
It will provide far more hell than an expensive, but easily repaired 633.
@beercheck: You mean, Tom Brady would die? I'm in.
Also, the E24. After all the work you'd put in, it'd still be just another 25-year-old German blowmobile (though an admittedly gorgeous one.)
On account of the vaguely Corvairesque shape of the 2000C, I'm thinking backseat fulla M5 V10.
@subsammy: But at least the weather there looks better than Carl Sagan promised.
2000C, grab a post-malaise drivetrain from Pick 'n Pull. Hell with style!
@al_beaton: But how about the rust there?
@Paul Y. is Going Dumb at the Sideshow:
The 2000C is a beautiful car.
Yep. And even though I read the post and the ads, and figure the 633 offers greater risk and lower reward, I just can't get around how pretty the 2000C is. I feel like one of those people who bases his vote in Presidential elections on which candidate he'd rather have a beer with, but I just can't help it. That's one fine looking automobile.
Hmm... I guess I could always use a parts car...
@beercheck: LOL! You say that and I'm thinking "Padres".
@anaxomander: TRX wheels?! I thought those were just for Escorts (and extinct since they quit making the tires about 20 years ago).
@Mike the Dog: Turns out you can still get TRX-sized tires, and they only cost about $300 each - what a bargain!
And that shows why the 2000 is a better PCH. You can find 633s in the yards and even get TRX tires. The last classic pillarless BMW coupe of any kind I saw was a 6 and that was 18 months ago at a car show. The rest have dissolved. As the old joke goes, the Italians did not actually invent rust. They licensed the process from Karmann.
The 2000C's missing tail lights alone make the car a Hell of almost French proportions.
I kick myself for not importing a 3.0CS when my fraternity brothers were bringing them in during the height of the 80s grey market days, so the 2000C would be excellent penance.
Big shark, little shark--what's the diff? Both will kill you, with enough time.
I'll take the '67. Fender-mount mirrors FTW.
@Mike the Dog: Coker Tire still sells TRXs, for $184-$535 each.
Sucker.
'84. It's going to break your budget to fix, then to keep it running.
In return, you get a common car which has little value, even in great condition.
I thought the Moonlighting car was a 635CSi. This, and the same era's 5-series were the only BMW's on which I liked the styling, but I'd still never own one.
I will say the Moonlighting-mobile did handle Mr. Willis' parking garage abuse in one of the later episodes. I've always wanted to do that to a car which wasn't already gravitating towards a junkyard.
`67. Easy vote.
When it's two machines from the same manufacturer, it's always gonna be the older one.
Unless it's Mopar.....
Murilee, "boiling hive of Botswanan Urethra-Seeking Fire Millipedes" is the funniest thing I've read in a while... thanks!
Who needs syncros? Race cars don't have syncros. Put some Marvel Mystery Oil in the fuel tank and float shift that bitch!
Having had my own personal PCH with a the 2000c's younger sibling a '72 3.0cs I can safely say the 2000c is WAY more hellish than the 6'er and wins on obscurity factor by a mile.
Again I mark the ballot according to the machine I'd prefer to have in my garage — 2000C. Dang, that's a fine looking machine... That alone would keep me going for years, whether it ran or not.
@lankybits: If you think that's "funny", I've got this one ex-girlfriend you might enjoy meeting.
@BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ:
There is no "i" in "hell."
Transmission Shoemaker-Levy'd - check.
Fuel system runs, doesn't run - spritzing randomly like Io - check.
Paint grey-blue & new like the surface of Europa - check.
Looks like a red spot on the bumper - check.
Probably sixty other peripheral issues circulately around & unseen from afar, maybe even a ring of them - check.
Yep, this 63-series is a Jupiter PCH.
The 2000c with an early M3 motor is the way to go.
@TechnoDestructo: I take it you've not touched the iHell that is Bosch D-jet, ja?
@TheTooth: '84 for that reason... and because I didn't look at the URL and just saw "Location: Jupiter".
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