Jalopnik
The French car beat the German one in our last Choose Your Eternity matchup, which means we need to give France's cross-Channel rival an opportunity to snatch the PCH Trophy (which features several rods hanging out the side and a spreading pool of oil below) today. We're going with something a bit different this time, however; ever since the What Should Mad_Science Drive To Work QOTD, we've been thinking about non-petroleum-fueled car projects. Not boring ol' electric cars that can barely buzz up to highway speed, or seen-one-ya-seen-em-all veggie-oil-powered Mercedes-Benzes, though. Something fun! Something... HELL!
There's no law that says you have to run dinosaur juice in your diesel; vegetable oil or animal fat works just fine! Oh sure, some worrywarts will tell you that you need to use some kind of witches' brew of methanol, lye, and who-knows-what-all and make actual biodiesel, but that's only if you want to run the stuff in an unmodified diesel engine. However, this is Hell, where nothing is unmodified! Not only that, most of the cars in Hell are French... like, say, this '79 Peugeot 504 diesel, which can be purchased in running condition for only $1,500. Put in a bunch of filters and fuel heaters and start making friends with the manager of your local donut shop, because you're breaking free of the oil companies' stranglehold! We suggest adding turbocharging and intercooling, because there's no reason you need to be slow while you're saving the planet, right?
A veggie-oil diesel looks pretty good on the greenhouse-gas balance sheet, all right (assuming you're using played-out cooking oil as fuel; once you start pouring fresh veggie oil into the tank you get into a maddening internal debate about how much carbon was generated making the oil), but it still spews out all manner of icky particulates in the exhaust- which is hell on folks with asthma- not to mention lots of unpleasant nitrogen compounds due to the high compression and combustion temperatures inside a diesel. But there's an alternative, you green-minded Hell Project demon, you: electric power! How about a full-hybrid vehicle, in which a small internal-combustion engine charges the batteries of an electric drive system, just like a railroad locomotive? You can optimize the ICE engine with fuel-delivery and camshaft trickery so's it runs at optimal efficiency, and plug the car into household current (or, greener still, solar panels on your roof, thus relieving you of the maddening internal debate about the "remote polluting" effect of electrical generation via nonrenewable resources) so the generator hardly need run at all! Of course, you wouldn't want to drive some glorified golf cart or you wouldn't be reading this site, so we've found just the car for you: this '74 Austin Marina, already converted to a full-hybrid powertrain! Yes, it's a British car with an aircraft starter motor and a 7HP gasoline engine running a generator (we'd suggest a propane conversion on the engine, for seriously low smog output). Hmm... British... electric... Malaise Era... what could go wrong? The car is in pretty nice shape, so you might not have to spend more than many months a week or so chasing super-rare Austin parts for it, and best of all is the price: only 600 bucks!
Comments
Seriously, what could go wrong with a British car that's electric ...
a british car with even more electrics? you're kidding right?
wow. Austin Marina. Hybrid.
TKO, first round, one punch.
The Marina might look like it's in decent condition, but it'll be rusted on the inside of the panels. Trust me on this.
The Pug wouldn't be hell. You can still get bits from the Nigerians.
A PC PCH? What is the world coming to?
I'm sure that the Mother Earth plans are well thought out and this project was done with forethought and excellence, as well look at the collector value for the Marina parts
Deep-fried frog!
There was an ancient Marina
And it winneth PCH...
Why, Murilee? Why?!
I, too have been scrounging the back alleys of the interwebs looking for serious commuter PCH machines. An electric 914's lookin' really good right now.
You mustn't tempt me like this.
I can't believe the diesel got any votes when the competition is this hellish!
@boosted-lego-wagon: "Hold off ! unhand me, grey-beard loon !"
I doubt many factory-spec Marinas are putting out anywhere like 7 hp these days, so I'd buy it, join my local Marina appreciation society, and go drag-racing.
@Mad_Science: I'm looking too. I want a weird alternative-fuel vehicle.
The Austin Marina hybrid is classy. This is the kind of hybrid you wont feel like a dipshit while driving it.
A+++++++
What could possibly go wrong with a British Built Malaise Era Sedan, converted to some kind of a Hybrid, with an aircraft electric starter motor?
You must be mad to think that this isn't the very definition of Project Car Hell....
Austin all the way!
I love the irony of a hybrid powered by a lawnmower engine that probably pollutes more than all the stretch Hummer limos in existence combined.
@Murilee Martin: I think a Tatra T-603 running a diesel-electric series hybrid powertrain would suit you nicely Mr. Martin!
SHAZAM! I haven't seen that aircraft-starter hybrid mentioned in decades.
Years ago (the last time oil got expensive) my Dad acquired all the parts to do this to our Volvo 122 coupe after the BW35 autobox-from-Hell went out. Again. We've still got 'em in the basement even though the 122 went away in the Great Ridding of Volvoness circa 1988. We traded for a bunch of tools that we use to this day, so I think we got the better end of the deal even though we still miss the 122.
Hmmm, I'm unemployed right now. And there's a riding mower in the barn that needs a motor.
The Pug will have problems, but they'll be mere annoyances that'll be easily cured if you ship it off to anywhere but North America (we're like kryptonite to the things). I just hope they make brimstome-scented air fresheners, just to make the ambiance in the Marina right. Granted, it'll smell the same the moment you fire it up, if the components work well enough to release that patented Lucas smoke.
Twas a sad day in the Palace. All the Queen's engineers and all the King's electricians, couldn't get the little Prince of Darkness' hybrid running again.
Sorry Austin on this one, because there is nothing like driving a car on an electric motor that is only supposed to work intermittently AND have a car that will still drip oil on your driveway from it's original dino fueled mill.
Vive la France! Anyone removing factory electrics from a malaise-era British car can't help but make some kind of improvement, even if it's substituting Cessna and Home Depot parts.
I hate to nitpick, but it is a Morris Marina.
Still completely hellish though.
I have bad memories of working on these back in the day. (shudder)
Mind you, a Rover V8 transplant gave you a respectably quick car, if you could bear the shame of actually driving one of these turds.
An electrified Marina? Instant PCH, no debate, no contest.
My parents had a 504(?) diesel wagon back in the mid-70's, so I know from first-hand experience that the only thing that will truly kill a Peugot diesel is running it without oil for a few thousand miles.
The Morris, on the other hand, will stop running if the humidity gets above 60%.
The Marina all the way... after all, it's 'partially finished hybrid' - which sounds like hell to me. The 504 is a stock Peugeot model that runs. How can that be hell?
@X-Zambian: Outside of the US, maybe, but in the US, it was sold as an Austin. Friend of mine had a well-used example in high school. One of the more memorable breakdowns was when the fuel filler somehow split and leaked gas onto one of the brake drums, turning the brake lining into something that looked like pudding.
That old Morris just reeks of innovation.
Electric cars are supposed to be so quiet they're a danger to pedestrians.
So use a Marina, with that clunking from the subframe, bits of trim falling off, creaking vinyl interior, screeching wheel bearings and the Alka Seltzer fizz of corroding bodywork - it'll have passers-by cowering in doorways. Brilliant!
If that British Malaiselectric were closer, I'd be minus $600 and my life would be in ruins.
I wonder what the voltage of the system is.
A running Pujoe v the Rind of the Ancient Marina? No PCH contest, baby.
the peugeot might be a decent car, but if it was he would keep it
I know it's been said several times, already, but c'mon...British, Malaise, electric...I'm fairly certain this cannot be beat. Although, there is always the Eastern Bloc cars of the '70's... I'll take three Trabants...as planters for the front yard.
@VW_SollteMichAnstellen:
This is off-topic, but actually building a hybrid-electric riding mower would be, as they say, complete win. Especially if you raced it.
In the parlance of my avatar,"C'mon!".While any Peugeot Diesel would be my personal hell if forced to drive one (my Dad's wife had one of the same vintage,couldn't get out of it's own way on real diesel),the Austin is the hands down winner for hell.
Let's see,take a complete P.O.S. (as in the day it rolled of the assembly line),and then install a decidedly "shade tree" "hybrid" system,what could possibly be hell about that?
To be fair,as the seller notes,you can remove the components and then sell the Marina for it's collectible value,I mean,we've all seen what a pristine Marina will go for at Barret-Jackson....
@ChasG:
Oops. My bad. Morris, Austin, makes no difference. These are premier automotive turds, thank largely to the unions at British Leyland at the time. I remember a nine month old example coming in for repair that had serious rust issues. From the looks of that particular car, Leyland thought a single coat of paint on top of un-degreased metal was sufficient. No primer. Just a single coat of babyshit beige. You could remove paint with your thumb nail. QC? They hadn't heard of it, and weren't interested anyway.
Gack. Horrible, horrible things.
Balls.
The Austin must win, weak competitor it may be.
French-type invaders last succeeded in Britain a thousand years ago. They're not going to start a new streak now.
@UDMan: Exactly. Jeremy Clarkson is gleefully giggling at us like a little school girl as we debate this.
As a Brit living in France, let me give you this simple piece of advice :
Everything in France is better.
Don't believe me? Fair enough. Let me give you some examples.
Food : Fresh fruit and veg and meat every morning vs supermarket's frozen goods section
Drink : Anything from Bordeaux against a cheaper Bordeaux out a UK supermarket at a higher price
Cars : The country that made the Citroen DS vs the country that made the Austin Allegro
Staples : The baguette vs sliced bread
Language : The country with two words for a chocolate croissant vs the country where sausages are part of a breakfast
Climate : Sun vs what climate? All we get is rain
Sport : Zenidane Zidane vs David Beckham in a fight...I know who my money would be on...
I simply must go with the Austin. I mean, does this not beat the living hell out of all thoes prius-driving tree-huggers at Starbucks? Hoons can save the enviroment too.
The Marina is most definitly the car for SUPER-DUPER AUTOMOTIVE MAYOR NUMRO UNO BORIS JOHNSON!! I live on a completely different continent my English friends, but Im rejoycing over the expulsion of red-Ken, and I hope all my fellow Jalopnikologists will be right behind me on this one.
Jalopnik- The Numba One Source for all pointless, slightly automotive related, political news.
*rejoicing
bugger. . .
@vwminispeedster: not without a credit card.
Oh Yeah, the Marina most definitely. A 7-horse Briggs and Stratton running a 400 amp generator? Seems like it would stall under load. An aircraft starter motor? Only designed for intermittent, short-duration use. Probably loud as hell, like a Dodge truck starter. Somewhere down the road it'll fry. The whole thing looks like someone put it together with his feet. If you could make it work, then so what? Still junk.
So the guy with the Austin is selling an uncompleted conversion? What a pansy. Good thing it's so far away or I'd be tempted... Yet another benefit of living in the hinterlands of the midwest.
Had to pick the Austin because I'm somebody who has actually ridden in an Austin Marina. I remember a co-worker talking about the Mother Earth article from the '70s about making the hybrid cars using Pintos, too. Go Austin!
you guys do know that the Morris (Austin) Marina was the basis for the Hyundai Pony, right?
Just putting my two cents in, it's Britain who win this round, oh yes indeed
The Austin, for several reasons:
1. No more powerful force has been found for turning electrons into smoke than Lucas Electronics.
2. This is probably the first time I've ever seen a craigslist add containing a periodic sentence
3. I'm curious what "Zebarted" means
Oh, and
4. Some slightly drunk geology student was telling me his scheme for making a similar car the other day.
@discontinuuity:
3. I'm curious what "Zebarted" means
'Zeibarted', Zeibart being the anti corrosion gunk sprayed on as original equipment.
@Schm is not particularly sure what he is ranting about. . .:
Re: new London mayor being more pro-car than his Chavez-lite predecessor; Possibly, but he and his high-Tory cronies will milk that city, regardless of what you think about cars.
I'm just wondering, did the Marina's modder think he could save some scratch on wiring and just use the chassis for the negative side of the motor circuit? That'd be shockingly funny.
Motor by Lucas, immobility by Satan.
[www.fragranceglobe.com]
....we need to give France's cross-Chanel rival...
Why isn't English Leather involved?
Wow, the Brits have bitched-slapped the French into submission, leaving them to cry into their crepes.
How long will the Frogs stand for this injustice!
@discontinuuity: Should be "ziebarted", or what AMC did in the early 80s to keep its legacy brand alive. Applied to Marina, the Ziebart treatment is able to not only block the crumbling forces of oxidation, but also ensure the little Marina can float on water (hence the name) and build up enough electrical charge to act as a supercapacitor, wasting would-be thieves in seconds. Add some bulletproof glass and diamond plate and you'll have an impenetrable dreadnaught.
@Elhigh: "Motor by Lucas, immobility by Satan."
That should be a required bumper sticker on every British car ever made!
COTD for that alone, my friend!
I recently saw the film "Control" about Joy Division singer Ian Curtis. Even more depressing than the story of his life was the assortment of vehicles on the streets of Macclesfield in 76-80. I was actually surprised that there are enough Marinas/Allegros/Vivas and their ilk still running to provide that period look to the film.