Jalopnik
Those of you who believed El Suburbanimo to be the ultimate New Jersey vehicle might want to reconsider after you take a look at this '73 Datsun 240Z. Back in the early 80s, with just 19,721 miles on the Z's clock, its owner decided some custom touches were in order. A little body kit here, some stripes and TURBO emblems there, and then the finishing touch: a small-block Chevy engine. It's awesome! BZR found this gem for us; make the jump to read his description. [eBay Motors]
Like a time warp straight out of the 70s, with every optimistic Malaise-denying piece on there. Every angle induces another "Oh my God" reaction, every feature seems like some unholy caricature of a kitsch utopia. Makes "Black Gold" look restrained and tasteful by comparison, and pretty much every other 70s special edition seem subdued as a result.
If you're featuring this car on Jalopnik (and I sincerely hope you do, it's too good to pass up), it would be a crime against humanity not to feature the skewed front bumper with "AWESOME" scrawled across the front (the only way it would be cooler is if it was backwards, like the TURBO markings on a BMW 2002) and the He-Man-inspired fantasy art on the hood scoop. Clearly the owner had a massive polyester-panted hard-on for shaggin-wagons as well as the beauty and majesty of the upcoming 1980s, a better time improved by TECHNOLOGY! Is it any surprise this car is from Jersey?
Oh, and it's got no engine. Natch.
Comments
Sweet!
Did all the 240z's of the era have such wheel gap in the front? or did the guy go alittle overboard on the springs because of the SBC?
I picture the guy who owns this as a serious D&D geek who used this vehicle to cruise the Junior Highs looking for a date for Saturday nights, sadly he never found one......
"East bound and down, loaded up and truckin',
we're gonna do what they say can't be done.
We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I'm east bound, just watch ol' "Bandit" run . . ."
LS7 in this, now.
time for some super sleeper potential.
Holy crap!
It might as well say "2 Wyckyd" on the side...
Of course now that I want to find a picture of Carl's car from ATHF, I can't. Damn.
Judging from the "art" on the hood, Ima gonna guess he was a big Manowar fan.
So if the decorations on the body are to be believed, it was a Chevy powered, turbocharged, airbrushed Z. And it was awesome.
Oh yes, yes it was.
I bet this comes with the Zac Morris style cell phone.
Looks like a car O'Bannion (and Affleck himself) would drive.
Man, I hate that guy...
I don't NEED no instructions to know how to rock...
MEEEDLYMEEEDLYMEEEDLY WAAAAHHH DOODADOOTDAYWEEEEEEEEE
Words fail me. Someone needs to go punch his momma.
I did see one of these that was well done once. Apparently they had put a small block Mopar engine in it because the badges had been changed to "340Z" - heh.
@OldeEnglishD:
he was probably targeting little boys while cruising in that thing.
with that car as his bait i am sure he got plenty of "dates"...
Somewhere out there.....The Dragon's are looking for a tailpipe on this Z.
Ohhh Yeah...
DATSUN 1973 240Z RESTO ROD...IN HEATED STORAGE FOR 25 YEARS ...19,721 ORIGINAL MILES...A ONCE IN A LIFETIME FIND.*
*Application to change your name to Dirk Diggler not included.
Good thing they banged off all those pictures before the real owners of that house came back home! They would've been pissed to see that parked out front!
I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.
@Ben Simons: So you're saying the guy was a Catholic Priest?
Sorry, that was tasteless.....
ignoring all the over the top mods, the car IS remarkably solid and rust free. Seeing that the car is still under 2K, a Purist might purchase and bring back to original ie: lose the graphics, fix the hood and get rid of all the IMSA bodywork and v8 transformation crap. I however would embrace the PCH of it all and find me a nice new crate motor and drop it in there. Shag carpets to match the door panels and would grow a cheesy mustache and wear my members only jacket once again!!!
@reefer:
I would assume that it's high in the front because there IS NO ENGINE. Usually, less weight makes a car ride a tad higher. Especially if the front springs were stiffened for the V8.
@SLR_BlowerMania: Definitely thinking about dragons looking for this tailpipe.
Sad part is this is a total waste of a 240Z. On the other hand, it is the perfect picture of Malaise Era modifications.
excuse me, is that Sex Panther you're wearing?
We know Steve Wozniak drove (or at least shilled) the 280Z. Is this Kevin Flynn's ride of choice?
Great, JUST GREAT! Now every time I even see the word "AWESOME"
(UGH, there it is again!!) somewhere, ANYWHERE, I'll picture this car!!
THAT'S JUST FRIGGIN' AWESOME (ARRGH, there it is again, DAMMIT!!),
thanks guys!!
Maybe if somebody on the Houston Astros baseball team wants to really show up the rest of the team for their "throwback jersey weekend", then this car could find an owner with deep enough pockets to fix the wiring issues. Otherwise, it's off to the pick 'n pull yard.
It looks like someone took a perfectly decent Z and tried to turn it into a Filipino Jeepney. I'll have to tell yall what a hellish nightmare driving in Manila is like one day, this gave me flashbacks.
Heh, Tony, let's hop in the turbozee and go get a pie. I'm stahvin' ova ere.
@tenbase: God no it smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food.....
The bodykit's not so bad. I would just give it a paint job and fix the hood. and maybe an engine.
I gotta say that those Recaro seats are indeed "friggin' sweet", though. They'd look hell of awesome in a period-correct orange 2002 (Inka).
Official Cougar Bait of the 1973 Indianapolis 500!
Gordon Johncock, "AWESOME" (argh) Edition...
Snootch to the motherfuckin nootch
I'm with the guys who want to buy it to undo this indignity. It is, after all, a solid 240Z and you don't see many of those anymore.
@cyclopticgaze: yeah I like those seats. There was also a z maroon which would match pretty good I imagine.
Three words come to mind when I see that car.... Cheesy Porn Star.
1) Male: Dark long curly hair, hairy chest, handlebar mustache, gold chain, wild print shirt with almost all buttons undone, extremely tight leather pants, black boots, lame expression, oh and maybe sunglasses.
2) Female: Very Long blond "windswept" hair, bright red lipstick, pouty expression, large breasts, print leotard, fishnet stockings, 4 inch heels, oh, and her mouth is open just a bit.
This car is EXTREAMLY [sic] freakin' malaistastic!
Embrace the malaise. You cannot escape it. It is inside you (or will be, whether you like it or not)
Someone clearly had a vision of what the most awesome car in the world would look like and they put a great deal of effort into realizing that vision. When you think of all the hours spent working on the car, and the designing and redesigning to get everything just perfect, the heart and soul that went into this project.......it's really quite tragic.
Something my father once said about the Vietnam war seems to apply in this situation.
"the road to hell is filled with good intentions..."
"Can I take your order please, sir?"
"Yes, I'll have a 1973 Datsun 240Z smothered in your finest 1980's Malaisonaise, please."
@UDMan: When you put it that way, it starts to make sense. I can picture myself now, in full porn star regalia, driving through the Heavy Metal Boob Mountain Range with a leggy blond in a metal bikini shooting her crossbow at the dragons circling overhead.
The ride height immediately made me think of the Rothmans Porsche 959 Rallye special.
I guess a total lack of engine makes more sense.
good thing that anti-hotlink wasn't a goatse/lemonparty/tubgirl
too early for that sh*t
oh i just love it!
minus the missing engine part, this thing is PERFECT!
@Morphine: Um, shouldn't you be on the Burt Reynolds thread?
yeah, why isn't there a Burt Reynolds thread, every Friday needs a gen2 F body thread.
"Let's see. I put those bitchin' racing stripes on there. And those sweet cross-lace rims that I scored. Do I put an awesome graphic on the hood?
[Shake, shake, throw]
Yes! A 20! The mural goes on!"
The 80s were truly terrifying times, people.
I like it - the styling is classy and restrained - as the styling on any proper sports car would be. In fact, it doesn't need an engine - it is that awesome. I'd buy it just to look at it - I wouldn't want to damage the awesome paintwork.
Must. Not. Buy. Car. And. Leave. As. Is. With. Awesomeness.
Seriously. I'd just drop an RB26 or something (Nissan) in it and call it a day. Leave the patina. Drop a system in it. Drive around with Phil Collins blaring from the system. Get a sweet skull for the back window with the light up blinking red eyes. Wear aviators. Wear a members only jacket.
Seriously. This is dangerous. I can buy this and not even be concerned about the cash. Hurry. Someone else take it. I'm getting the shakes.
Now that's something.