Jalopnik
After all the excitement over the Gay Deep Throated Angry Demon 914rrari this morning, the chorus of demons here in the Hell Garage has begun chanting "Small-Block Porsche! Small-Block Porsche!" It's always best to obey the Hell Garage Demons, lest you find yourself driving a silver 4-year-old Camry or some other reliable boring transporation appliance. You go with one of today's choices and you'll be able to laugh smugly at those sellouts who took the easy road... the days will drag by for them, each a gray replica of the one that preceded it, while you roar around town in your V8-ized Porsche!
Swapping a Chevy V8 into a 914 is pretty commonplace, but you have to be serious to tear out a 911's highly sophisticated boxer six in order to drop in a crude-yet-potent pushrod V8 in its stead. Sure, the Porsche engine makes more power per cubic inch, but nothing on the planet can beat the ol' small-block Chevrolet when it comes to power per cubic dollar. So coming at you from the hometown of John Waters, here's a 911 with a Chevy V8 for the absurdly cheap price of $2,800. Whiners will point out that several crucial details have been left out of the car's description (e.g., year of the Porsche, type of Chevy engine, rust status, etc.), but you can rest assured that there's "NO CUTTING!" This might be a 912 with a no-name body kit, floorpan completely rusted through, and a Malaise Special 267 engine crudely welded into the framerails... or it might be just a few easy steps from emerging from the sulfurous flames of your garage! Either way, we recommend a bigger engine than what's in it now.
While you'd certainly get points for your huge, stainless steel testicles (or ovaries) by risking your life with a tail-heavy brute such as a small-block 911, you lose Sleeper Points for having a car that most folks associate with high performance. That's not a worry when you drive a Porsche 924, because even the turbocharged models suffered from some serious Malaise issues in stock form. But drop in a great big Chevy 350 and the 924 becomes an acceleratin' machine like few others. Just take a look at this fine Chevy-motivated '78 924 to see what we mean! Well, sure, the handling takes a bit of a performance hit when you replace the meticulously engineered Porsche rear suspension with a Ford 8" solid axle and simple link setup, and some might object to the automatic transmission... but take this thing to the local dragstrip and you'll be a hero. This car seems to run and drive, but the statement "its not perfect and still needs some fine tuning" might well be Craigslist-ese for "driveshaft vibrates so bad that your vision will remain blurry for a full day after driving this car" or even "only the left front brake works." No problem, though- you'll get it all dialed in, and then you'll be on top of the world!
Comments
I've always enjoyed sticking the American pushrod into a German.
There is something strange about the way that 350 looks in the back of that 911.
//only the left front brake works.//
That happened to me once in an '82 X-11. Good times.
911 very German with very American V8,
looks like it needs more than just a carb and radiator.
I vote for the Porsche 1274
The 924's dash swayed me...oh wait - it has a chrome alternator?!
911. Because adding another 150lbs behind the rear axle will make it Porschier.
No cutting, eh? I guess you won't be able to sell it to any emo kids...
@7Seven: Swayed me to the 911 that is!
Going with 924.. No matter how nice it is, its still a 924. Also, with the Ford 8" and other assorted butchery that's taken place, it sounds like it'd be pretty unsatisfying even when finished..
At least with the 911/912, there's the inherent value in the shell of the car, someone might want that even if you give up on the V8. Plus, with something like an LS2 back there, the weight distribution might not be so terrible.
924
Did you even look at the pictures? The 924's basically done (...what?), but the 911 is PCH, embodied.
Oh, how can you not go for the "Pendulum-Porsche" 911? The 924 seems mostly sorted out, while the 911 looks like it still has a family of raccoons living in it. You get a hold of that monster and you better prey the road to hell isn't a twisty one.
"Wail tail?" Ford "hear end"? Are these Freudian slips that presage the level of whine from the final drive in the 924?
I've gotta go with the 911, though the 924 gets bonus points for being such a completely bad implementation of a fundamentally good idea.
I mean, a V8 in a 924/944 *could* result in the best of both worlds--American power and engine reliability (no more timing belts!), but with the magic Weissach handling these cars are known for.
This guy went a different way, though, deleting the one thing that makes a 924 interesting and trying to...what? Make a drag car? Weird.
It appears that the 911 owner didn't even consider that the engine is liquid cooled and needs a radiator.
Wouldn't be seen dead in either of them.
I guess I'd have to vote 911, because you have to be a complete asshole to brutalize a 924 like that. He's managed to wreck the engine, wreck the handling, and for the coup de resistance, turned it into an automatic.
I'm getting geniunely upset with what he's done to it. I almost think that it should get the vote based on sympathy. Someone should put some love into that poor abused Porsche. It deserves that after what it's been through at the hands of it's former owner.
The 911 is easily recognisable to the car lay-person so you will at least get an ohh or an ahh from them, but the 924...no one knows what that is. If you have to explain how your car is a Porsche, all the luster is gone....so I yield to the 911.
@morrisseyscoot: Au contraire! The ad clearly discloses the problem:
"needs radiator brake work"
@13oostedwgn:COTD!
911 for sure. Have you priced radiator brakes recently? They're basically unobtainable.
@Preferredcustomer: Damn you and my being called away mid-comment.
914. He went to all that trouble and then threw in the damn towel over a starter?
Besides, the other guy is too weird. Wail tail. What in the hell would he think that meant?
924 voters lets remember we are in hell
Professor Powerslide's prescription for fun in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot:
1) Take a big iron V8 and shove it in the ass end of a European sports car.
2) Turn the wheel.
3) Stand on the gas.
@morrisseyscoot: Sure he did. It says right in the ad "needs radiator brake work and carb and starter". He's just leaving the details to the next guy. One of the reasons I chose the 911.
@morrisseyscoot: Thats nothing a sawzall can't fix.
911 - the next modification I'd make would be some disposable seat covers so that the interior wont be ruined after you've soiled yourself following a furious spinout.
Don't you think the 924 owner wouldn't get rid of the car if it was "on of his favorites"? Perhaps he meant "least favorite"?
Spelling aside, the 911 wins PCH based on Craigslist text alone (as documented by our fine crew above)
@Dr.Danger's got nards: Yeah, I totally agree - looks like that V8 was photoshopped into a blacked out pic. Therefore, I refuse to believe it exists. Therefore, it wins PCH.
While the 924 is fairly well-brutalized, the 911 is probably far, far worse.
Plus, as AndyDuncan said, it's Porschier.
Moby was a great white wail I suppose.
924---Shit Pre, and Shit Post swap That's my flavor of hell!!!111!!111!
If the 911 doesn't break what little sanity you've got left, you'll probably find out that Satan's a Porsche lover, and you've just ended up on his bad side for your abomination, sending you to the worst levels of hell.
911 all the way. Let's say you do eventually get the project done... you're happy... you get in the car... you start it up... you hear the engine roar... you go for a little drive and it all goes so well... until you hit a curve and the weight of all that V8 goodness causes you spin out and wrap the car around a tree.
@JoeWoodsprite: German chicks are pretty good lays, I agree.
They put the V8 in the wrong end of the 911. Probably true about the 924 also.
The 924 is made of common-as-dirt American muscle car parts, which makes finishing it easy. Of course, it's always going to be a car with a slushbox and crummy transmission, so why bother?
On the other hand, that 911 is a proper Porsche. With a lighter V8 and some "situational engineering", glorious Porsche handling could be combined with truly massive American muscle. Of course, the car is in horrible shape and likely uses some incomprehensible engineering, making it truly hellish.
All of these posts and nobody has questioned the fact that a Porsche motor spins in the opposite direction of Chevy V8. That means a cam swap as well as a new starter motor and fly wheel.
911. I mean, a few (hundred) pounds added to the rear shouldn't upset the handling 'that much' ...
The optimism of an air cooled small block is a nice touch too.
i voted 911,i have 924
The 924 started life with an engine where a'murrican engine expects to be, therefore the vote must go to the 911.
@Preferredcustomer: Precisely, all the good's gone out of it...
@cgarison: Another of the reasons I voted 911. The biggest reason, of course, is the fact that if I ever did manage to get it going, the lift-throttle oversteer that 911s are famous for (exacerbated by the extra mass of the Chev motor), would rear its ugly head about 1/100th of a second before I remember to watch for it, killing me in an especially messy way.
i take the 911 and the life insurance please...
that thing looks like it´s gonna powerslide even parked....
@cgarison: or just a propeller, like a fan boat.
@narf: If only we hadn't already set the Chevy as the engine of choice. Just think: 911 with a Tatra 603 engine... mmm the smell of brimstone would be thick.
I would love to know how he is cooling, or not cooling, the motor in that 911!
Needs a Crosley 4 cylider cobra. 26HP now thats BAD.
@TheBrewPub: everything is a photoshop
photoshop is the new reality
@Mike the Dog:
Yah.
I can see myself flying into hell backwards at 100 mph.
Not a bad way to go actually..